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Jūlijs 23., 2005
22:50 - pirms izdzēšu no myspace, negribu pazaudēt..
i'm writing this in my room on a plain piece of paper, that hadn't happened in ages....TheFutureEmbrace* is playing and i find that i like my handwriting again..... just give me some time.
Billy is the saviour. i'm with Cowboy Bill though.
i'm not at my writing table because my cat has taken the chair. he sleeps there a lot, leaving his hair all over the place. unfortunately, that is also the chair that i oh so often leave my clothes hanging on... but i don't mind. not him.
he wakes me when he feels like i should be waking. sometimes, not always, and never when i should be sleeping. and his eyes always say they watch me. he knows i'm his but still tests me.
by my bed, there layeth a stone, 'corpus christi' written thereon..... i was once walking home through a forest and it just... was there. in a place so exact that i'm sure someone had left it there.
i pinned back my hair.. now that they're this long they're even easier to handle that way.... i used only one pin, the one that i got from the first present this morning......... the feeling of getting presents is wonderful. the idea of having your hair firmly pinned with only one pin is like being a fucking genius!
i felt good yesterday.. even beautiful.. but not irresistable, no... not yesterday. nor today.
and yeah, i'm wearing high-heels now. for no special reason. they're my only ones and i got them because of that silly high-school graduation thing.... guess what.. i love them.
for the whole yesterday i thought of people i shouldnt have. what was wrong? ..nothing. at least not with the thinking itself. i dont really know any of them... - yet and already...
the first and [now] the most important one i.... need. this simple. i was sure i cannot get used to anything/anybody, but i surely am addicted to him... that's a fault... for no good can it bring.
the second i hardly know... but i havent seen such a light and lovely person in years. i'll just have to return there only to be around him, get hugged and kissed on the cheek, it's the best that has happened to me lately...
the third i dont want to let go of. tell me why. i'll tell you why.... what every human being wants more than to be loved is to love... even if they do not acknowledge it... he was the hope for my love, ..but the scene, the stars, even the crew is dead... move on, i hear... push me!
i want to climb from the hole
and dash myself upon the rocks below
but still it requires your push
because a push requires intent
and intent requires desire
and desire registers in this body as a need
do you need me?
so push me over, my sea chest and me
the birds will follow me down..
i've felt myself as a free element of this world, joining and leaving things and people, never caring too much about the fact, never being treated as a part of them too seriously.. and now i am sick of it.
freedom is never as good as it seems, you know....
because no man can say "but you gotta love me!"
and another paragraph.. about arrogance.... is wanting to be appreciated and loved arrogant?
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Comments:
rlof bout her thought;D
which was the following:līdz pat tam brīdim, kad tika pieminētas high-heeled shoes, es domāju, ka šī teksta autors (jo laikam man kktā piedūrās/iedūrās iepriekšteikti komenti par šekspīrisku valodu un tādu romantisku un literāri skaistu es šeit sastapu) ir jaukems:D pēc tam to visu pārlasīt ar smaidu uz lūpām bij forši:) un vēl foršāk, jo šis ir ne*nelabi un izmisums* raksts:)
![[User Picture]](http://klab.lv/userpic/165754/5552) | | From: | ![[info]](http://klab.lv/img/userinfo.gif) coda |
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| Date: | 14. Augusts 2006 - 17:10 |
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