At this point I'd figured out what you need to put in grant proposal to get the money. And that's what I did.
I applied for grants on research projects, because it was a way to make money, not because I thought it would leave an impact in the history of science.
It's not that what I did was somehow wrong. It was and still is, totally state of the art.
I did what I said I'd do in the proposal, I did the calculation, I wrote the papers, I wrote the reports, and the reports were approved. Normal academic procedure.
But I knew it was bullshit, just as most of the work in that area is currently bullshit and just as most of academic research that your taxes pay for is almost certainly bullshit.
The real problem I had, I think, is that I was bad at lying to myself.
Sabīne Hossenfeldere