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To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees welltrained through
our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the
S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee
Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to Eployee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since
our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others.
We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List. (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
apply for promotion to Director Of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training,
Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
...
That's a Circular Reasoning and Opinionated Critic of Killer Opposition Fervor
on Special High Intensity Training, (C.R.O.C.K. O.F. S.H.I.T.) if I ever
saw one... |