- the ... aristocrats!
- 23.12.05 23:43
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Anal blood, used by son to splatter audience
Analingus, performed by son on father performed by daughter on father performed by father on daughter performed by son, with mother’s feces in his mouth, on infant Anus, Cow’s, penetrated by unidentified person’s fist Daughter’s, penetrated by father’s fist Daughter’s, penetrated by grandfather Dog’s, finger inserted into by daughter Dog’s, penetrated by grandfather Dog’s, penetrated by son Father’s and son’s, alternately licked by daughter Father’s, used to play bagpipes Father’s, used to catch ping-pong balls Grandmother’s, penetrated by son Mother’s, penetrated by son Mother’s, penetrated by father Mother’s, penetrated by son Son’s, penetrated by father Audience, invited to masturbate niece and nephew
Axe handle, used by father to hit daughter’s head
Baseball bat, used by father to beat three daughters used by father to beat wife “Be a Clown,” sung by family in unison
Bicycle, ridden by grandmother while urinating on family ridden by woman with outsized vaginal cavity from which men emerge spitting vaginal mucous on audience Birth Canal, mother’s, infant son half reinserted into by father, who then anally penetrates son
Boil, popped by father on own back
Bucket of Feces, put over own head by daughter who then goose-steps around the stage thrown by son into mother’s face Buddhist Monk, raped orally and anally by indigenous tribesmen, then killed
Bullet Hole, shot in son’s head by father then used for intercourse
Burst Hemorrhoid, affixed by father to tip of nose
Cartwheels, performed by mother in the nude
Catholic priest, raped orally and anally by indigenous tribesmen
Copulation, performed by dog and daughter performed by father and daughter performed by father and daughter while daughter fellates son performed by father and gorilla performed by father and mother performed by grandfather and mother performed by son and grandmother performed by son and mother Cunnilingus, performed by father on wife performed by son on daughter Curry Powder, sprinkled by unidentified Indian man onto penis of unidentified African-American man
Defecation, by Betsy Ross by entire family on stage in unison by family dog on family by father into wife’s mouth by father on dead daughter by father on stage by man into woman’s vagina by mother and father on stage, with children frolicing in result by mother into metal bucket by mother into son’s mouth Defecation and Urination, by dog on stage
Desk Drawer, slammed repeatedly by father to flatten penis
Diarrhea, attack of which propels son in circles around stage
Dog, penetrated by talent agent penetrates man anally while cat licks man’s testicles
Donkey, urinated on by father
Dried Semen, chipped off mother’s desk by father
Ejaculation, by father onto daughter’s rectum by father onto entire family by father onto mother’s face by six dwarves on stage, one by one Extra-Large Vagina, used by several men as hideout
Feces, applied by father in preparation for blackface routine danced in by father eaten by son eaten out of grandmother’s rectum by father Grandfather’s, eaten by daughter Mother’s, removed from bucket and juggled by son while urinating into daughter’s mouth rolled around in by family rolled around in by father skated through by family slid through by family slid through by female family members Son’s, applied by mother on family members splits performed into by family in unison Feces and Urine, eaten off family by dog, who then jumps through hoop rolled in by family Fellatio, performed by Eddie Fisher on goat in MGM studio lot to the dismay of wife Debbie Reynolds performed by father on infant son performed by mother on donkey performed by mother on father performed by sister on brother performed by son on father performed on father by unborn baby as father penetrates pregnant mother anally Finger, pulled by daughter to cause passage of gas
Fishhook, used by father to pierce penis
Fishhook-Pierced Penis, used by father to copulate with daughter
Fisting, particular enjoyment of by Mickey Rooney
Flaming Elephant Penises, juggled by unidentified man
Flattened Penis, used by father to beat children used by father to knock out son’s eye, then penetrate eye socket “God Bless America”, sung by grandparents while engaged in intercourse
Kazoo, placed in anus by grandmother to perform “Begin the Beguine” while fellating grandfather
Kerosene, added by son to bucket of urine and feces then ignited
Kiddie Pool, filled with Beef Entrails and Aborted Fetuses, waded into by family
Liberty Bell, cracked by signers of Declaration of Independence who hit it sliding through Betsy Ross’s feces
Light, flipped on by Amish father
Liquid Feces, gargled then swallowed by mother
Lit Cigar, inserted by father into mother’s anus
Liza Minnelli’s Swollen Clitoris, compared to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade float
“Make Them Laugh,” sung by family in unison
Masturbation, performed by father into shot glass performed by son onto mother multiple times performed by son with outsized genitalia until the head of penis explodes performed on son by mother performed simultaneously by male family members onto dead grandmother performed simultaneously by male family members onto dish Mutual, performed by Siamese twins who are attached at derriere Midget Uncle With Three Penises Protruding From Head, appearance on stage by
Mixture of Feces and Urine, applied to face by father
Mop Handle, inserted into unidentified man’s anus by unidentified African American man
“Nearer My God to Thee,” sung by daughter while juggling torches
Pinky Fingers, inserted by mother into father and son’s anuses as they ejaculate
Pope, penetrated by talent agent
Projectile Vomiting, by mother all over audience
Puddle of Semen, Feces, and Urine, coitus and oral sex performed by family in
Rabbi, raped orally and anally by indigenous tribesmen
Radio, listened to by Amish mother
Ring of Fire, jumped through by dog
Semen, drunk from shot glasses by mother Father’s, eaten by mother out of daughter’s anus Father’s, eaten by son off mother’s face Father’s, spat out by infant after being born by mother Male Family Members’, eaten by female family Semen and Sweat Mixture, used by family to bathe
Shetland Pony, yielded live by grandmother during failed abortion, then ridden off stage by grandfather
Shoes, shined by Liza Minnelli with own vaginal mucous
Sixty-Nine, performed by father and daughter on each other
Smoke Rings, blown from mother’s vagina, then jumped through by son
Songs, sung by four unrelated men who fashion helmets out of their outsized genitalia sung by mother as daughter masturbates father and son simultaneously Striptease, performed by mother
Tampon, removed by father from wife’s vagina and thrown at wall, to which it sticks
“Tea for Two,” played by wife using her vagina as an instrument
Trapeze, used by family to performed act while urinating on audience
Unspecified Animal Manure, swum though by family
Urination, by dog on family by family onto one another in unison by three men on stage Vagina, Daughter’s, penetrated by father’s fingers Daughter’s, penetrated by father with hot curling iron Daughter’s, penetrated by mother’s fist Vomit, causing entire family to vomit when smelled eaten by family member after vomiting Vomiting, by son and daughter on stage in unison by the entire family in unison by three men on stage Wallet, stolen by Hispanic male who then defecates on stage
“What a Wonderful World,” gas passed to tune of by son and daughter
Xylophone, played by son with penis
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