| that's the thing [just spit it out] |
[Sep. 7th, 2009|12:32 pm] |
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| | none | ] |
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| | none | ] |
Viņš nomira jau trīs reizes.
Vienreiz pa īstam un divas manos sapņos.
Es neteiktu, ka miršanā bija kkas citādāks. Tā bija tāda pati. Tikai sajūta bija atšķirīga. Jo katru reizi šķiet, ka visi kļūdījušies, ka viņš vēl ir dzīvs, un kkur ir doma, ka viņš arī nenomirs, ka viņam vnk ir slikti, ka tūlīt viss beigsies, ka varbūt viņš kko ieēdīs un viņam būs spēks uzrāpties atpakaļ, aizmigt un atgūties līdz rītam. Bet viss pārējais ir tāds pats. Tā panika, kad tu apzinies, ka dzīvība tūlīt aizies, bet tomēr tici, ka nē. Un tici arī, ka tu vari kko izdarīt lietas labā. Un katru reizi [sapnī] es daru kko citu, bet nekas nelīdz..
Panika un bezspēks.
Viena kājiņa, kas turas pie līstītes. Otra mēģina satvert gaisu. Uz augšu vērsts vēders. Atpakaļ atmesta galva. Acis, skatās kkur un nekur reizē. Un spārni. Izplestie spārni - tie ir visbriesmīgākie.
Maziņie spēki izsīkst.
Tad kritiens. Gulēšana un muguras trīcēšana. Palīdzu apgriesties, sabirdinu barību, mēģinu viņu padzirdināt.
Nekas.
Paņemu viņu rokās. Ir kkādas bailes, kuras neizprotu. Laikam negribu, lai viņš nomirst, kamēr es viņu turu rokās. Varbūt vispār beigti putni kā tādi ir biedējoši, kā izbāzeņi. Nekad nav man patikuši.
Un viņš nomirst.
Spārni vairs nav izplesti, bet sakrustoti aiz muguras.
Acis ir ciet.
Knābis ir nedaudz pavērts. Un par to ir izbāzta mēle.
Un viņš guļ uz galvas, ar asti gaisā.
Un kājiņas ir visbriesmīgākās. Tās ir nostieptas visā savā garumā un nedzīvas.
Zārciņš. Bedrīte. Zeme. Sūnas. Brūklenes. Bērzs.
Viss.
Neviens nedrīkst raudāt. |
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| atradu otrreizējai lietošanai atvēlēto papīru kaudzē: |
[Sep. 7th, 2009|07:22 pm] |
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| | bēd | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jane's addiction - wrong girl | ] |
Hilaire Belloc
Jim - Who ran away from his Nurse and was eaten by a Lion
There was a Boy whose name was Jim;
His Friends were very good to him.
They gave him Tea, and Cakes, and Jam,
And slices of delicious Ham,
And Chocolate with pink inside
And little Tricycles to ride,
And read him Stories through and through,
And even took him to the Zoo -
But there it was the dreadful Fate
Befell him, which I now relate.
You know - or at least you ought to know,
For I have often told you so -
That Children never are allowed
To leave their Nurses in a Crowd;
Now this was Jim's especial Foible,
He ran away when he was able,
And on this inauspicious day
He slipped his hand and ran away!
He hadn't gone a yard when - Bang!
With open Jaws, a lion sprang,
And hungrily began to eat
The Boy: beginning at his feet.
Now, just imagine how it feels
When first your toes and then your heels,
And then by gradual degrees,
Your shins and ankles, calves and knees,
Are slowly eaten, bit by bit.
No wonder Jim detested it!
No wonder that he shouted 'Hi!'
The Honest Keeper heard his cry,
Though very fat he almost ran
To help the little gentleman.
'Ponto!' he ordered as he came
(For Ponto was the Lion's name),
'Ponto!' he cried, with angry Frown,
'Let go, Sir! Down, Sir! Put it down!'
The Lion made a sudden stop,
He let the Dainty Morsel drop,
And slunk reluctant to his Cage,
Snarling with Disappointed Rage.
But when he bent him over Jim,
The Honest Keeper's Eyes were dim.
The Lion having reached his Head,
The Miserable Boy was dead!
When Nurse informed his Parents, they
Were more Concerned than I can say:
His Mother, as She dried her eyes,
Said, 'Well - it gives me no surprise,
He would not do as he was told!'
His Father, who was self-controlled,
Bade all the children round attend
To James's miserable end,
And always keep a-hold of Nurse
For fear of finding something worse. |
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