Monday, February 9th, 2026

methodrone Time: 10:57 am.

Es vairs negribu buut melodramatiska un vaartiities visaadaas deluuziju duumakaas. Kaapeec gan es nevareetu buut taa kaa tie superticiigie by natural law cilveeki, kas vienkaarshi ZINA, ka kaut kur ir esiibas staavoklis, kur visas muusu shaubas un nezinjas un apseestiibas un pazaudeetaas miilestiibas vienkaarshi kljuust par siltu gaismu? Tad es vareetu vienkaarshi iet pretii cilveekiem un smaidiit, un konkreetu uzlabot vinju dienu, jo vismaz viens cilveeks nav apseests bet gan smaidiigs un vienkaarshs. Kaada starpiiba kas kuram pieder vai nepieder - vai tad Dieva miilestiiba nav energjijas staavoklis visiem briivi pieejams ik mirkli? Es to visu zinu, bet es knapi jelko no taa juutu. Varbuut vide mani ir aizindeejusi ciet. Plika zinaashana ir kaa telefonsaruna vai veel sliktaak - internetsaruna. Divdimensionaals spoks, kas sanervozee praatu bez jebkaadas atslodzes iisteniibaa. Bet shodien ir labs laiks. Ir ap +10C un neliist, nav veejains, un aiz muuzhiigajiem maakonjiem ir mazliet zilas debesis un saules soliijums. Daba ir paarstaajusi raudaat - vismaz shoriit, vismaz tas ir labi.

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methodrone Subject: Vai iistas lietas luuzt? Time: 5:33 pm.

Dziives nosleepums ir kluss un nepieluudzams, un nav nekas, ko tu vareetu izdomaat vai izdariit, lai izluugtos patiesiibu. Vienkaarshi turpini stumt, un lai kas tevii pa celjam saluuztu, tam laikam nevareeja buut iipashas noziimes, ja tas nebija iists. Es nekad nevareeju iedomaaties, ka man naaksies izlikties par cilveeku pat veel neformaalaakos apstaakljos.

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methodrone Time: 9:50 am.

"It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?"

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methodrone Subject: Tipisks februaaris. Time: 4:30 pm. Music: Noah and The Whale - The First Days of Spring.

When there is nothing else left for you to do about a situation, you can take those feelings of anguish and use them in a spiritual or aesthetic way maybe. This too shall pass in a windy bleak nothingness of careless universe. All i ever wanted to do in life is suffer gracefully with a smile - so successfully that people thought that maybe I am simple. After all - anything that 'I' want is a spiritual mistake. The correct way is always to respond to others' requirements first. Ok, I love ocassional consciousness of 'I' and the special, magical awareness that it brings - esspecially to look upon people and love them. But sometimes I feel like it is such a horrible - cruel poison. In advance, I apologise to whatever is God for all my poisonous selfish thoughts and actions - I didn't ask for any of this after all.

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methodrone Time: 10:16 am. Music: The National - I Need My Girl.

Kaapeec dziive nevar likt mani mieraa? Man ir mans parastais stuuriitis, kur es mazgaaju traukus un seezhu ar siera gabalinju. Kaapeec peekshnji uzrodas kaut kaadas transcendentaalaas multidimensiju magic fire buutnes un visu negliiti izgaismo un aptraipo reizee. Es zinu, ka viss mans praats ir perpetual meli un maldugunis, but this has hit hard. Es ceru, ka es kaut kaadu naakamo dienu atkal pamodiishos savaa mieriigajaa voblinjaa un viss buus parasti, un es vareeshu seedeet ar savu siera gabalinju un smieties par parastajiem jokiem, praatam nedegot. Mani arvien mierina doma par to cik dziive ir iisa. Savam praatam es neuzticos, kaut kaads attaals logos ir varbuut pat iluuzija un zheeliiga cilveeku ceriibinja, ungrounded in reality. You also cannot live like a neat robot, as life always fusses you with magic and unexpected divinities and tragedies, sometimes mixed up in one. Torment, torment, torment. All i wanted was a brief tedium, but i get torment. Es veelos dzert viinu un klausiities The National visu sho lietaino, confusing riitu. Bet man jaasagaida Sainsburys delivery, tad jaaliek K guleet, tad jaataisa pusdienas, tad jaaiznjem S no skolas, tad jaakaarto maaja, tad jaataisa vakarinjas, tad jaataisa bedime, varbuut veel jaaspeeleejas, all with a sober, exploded mind. Un tikko Sainsburys zvaniija un teica, ka neko nevar piegaadaat jo celjsh ir sleegts, which means i don't even have coffee for this morning :')

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methodrone Time: 12:58 pm.

Juus arii dazhreiz paskatieties uz sevi Ring cameras history, un juus paarnjem irracionaals but ever present naids pret juusu negliito nogurusho seju, kas izskataas tizla un nevienu neiepriecina?

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methodrone Time: 12:51 pm.

Nevajadzeeja shkjirstiit random insta conspiracy accounts par Epsteina failiem. Humans are much scarier monsters that normal monsters. Also perverse monsters are much scarier than purely gory monsters. I don't think Earth can ever be heaven on earth, I'm sorry Jesus, it's too late. We need, like, Ellen Ripley or something.

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methodrone Time: 7:41 am.

Es atceros, ka kaut kad meegjinaaju lasiit DF Wallace, jo maasas forshais bf, kursh arii bija brainy literary dude par vinju fanoja. Bet viss ko es atceros no taa vinja bezgaliigaa staasta ir kaut kaada aina ar tarakaanu dushaa - literally, nothing else. Un tas man shkjita tik apaatiski patiess moments, ka ar to arii pietika - it's just true, so he is probably right about pretty much everything.

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methodrone Time: 8:40 pm.

Luteal phase is a demon. Just proves women come from a dark realm and are secretly bitches or witches. I dread and mourn getting old, but also welcome the freedom from demon phase.

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methodrone Time: 1:29 pm.

Vakarnakt redzeeju drausmiigu sapni, kuraa S izleeca no autobusa ar kuru braukaajaam pa sveshas pilseetas centru. Attapaamies tikai paaris mirkljus veelaak un shoferis neaptureeja autobusu veel kaadu minuuti. Tad es totaalaa aklaa panikaa kliedzot S vaardu meegjinaaju vinju atrast, netaceroties pa kurieni autobuss brauca. Beigaas atradaam vinju pilseetas centraa kaut kaadaa burzinjaa ar sliktu kompaaniju un citiem beerniem, kur visi izskatiijaas sazaaljoti un kaut kaa cietushi vai trafficked. Kaapeec manas smadzenes ir tik negantas un briesmiigas! Visu dienu staigaaju kaut kaadaas uncanny bailees, negribeeju S laist uz daarzinju, un nevaru sagaidiit vinju no taa iznjemt un apskaut un muuzhiigi nelaist valjaa un neatdot pasaulei. As per trendings, must be my lutheal phase arriving with a pomp to torment and destroy my soul. Vienmeer kad manas smadzenes deemonizeejas, es piesaucu Jungu as per sheer understanding of human pain, un arii Jeezulinju, ja nu vinjsh tomeer kaut kur eksiste un klausaas, un ir izpaliidziigaa omaa.

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