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[Jan. 1st, 2013|03:26 am] |
i wish tonight i could have been in London..
but it was awesome anyway. |
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| past bedtime |
[Dec. 29th, 2012|01:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleasant | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mumford and sons - winter winds | ] |
mana sāpjuslepkavu trieciendeva sāk izirt nebūtībā un galva kļūst arvien smagāka un klinšaināka ar asām malām un daudz durstekļiem. laikam jāiet gulēt.
gribēju tikai pateikt, ka šodien es jūs visus mīlu, arī lopārstu nīdēju - zootehniķi ar garām rokām. šodien es visādi uzlaboju savu karmu - izlīdzot daudziem nepazīstamiem cilvēkiem, salasot viņu izripojošos santīmus, pieturot durvis, palīdzot izvilkt ratus no autobusa un atbrīvojos sēdvietas vecāka gājuma cilvēkiem. ir tādas dienas..
vsp jau - es tik reti saku cilvēkiem, ka mīlu viņus. but i do. es mīlu jūs manas dzīves cilvēki.. sagribējās to pateikt, lai jūs zināt.. [in case something happens] |
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| no comment |
[Dec. 25th, 2012|11:19 pm] |
mani vecāki atteicās skatīties '3:10 to Yuma' - calling it rather hard and depressing, so tāpēc viņi skatās 'Painted Veil' on TV, jo tā jau tāda viegla un jauka filma vien ir. |
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| midnight crisis |
[Dec. 20th, 2012|03:19 am] |
salūzis cilvēks sēž uz trotuāra malas.
tam rociņas ir.. un kājiņas ir..
un galva uz pleciem vēl turas,
izplešas plaušas, pumpē asinis sirds,
bet dvēseles vietā tam tukšums un sāpe. |
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| broken person |
[Dec. 20th, 2012|02:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | learning | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | silence | ] |
cilvēki, kas mani pazīst, zina, ka es ikdienā vsp gandrīz nelamājos [krieviski]. tas ir pret kkadiem maniem iekšējiem principiem.
līdz ar to var mēģināt iztēloties - how pissed, angry and sick of it all I had to be to say: "pošla nah*j, s*ka, bļ*ģ!"
bet es to pateicu.. |
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| the happy week |
[Dec. 18th, 2012|05:16 am] |
Good morning! Or good night! Who cares?!
the happy week is too stressful to be truly happy. Well 2 to 4 h sleep sessions for 2 weeks aren't helping. Am tired and irritable. So much to do and so little time, my brain is too small. But I absolutely have to do it! All of it! |
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| safe and warm |
[Dec. 15th, 2012|07:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lazier than even | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | don'r know the name of this song | ] |
there's a magic place always open for you when you need the refuge.
it's called movieland.
[will have to make my winter movie list :)] |
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| who's afraid of cows? |
[Dec. 7th, 2012|01:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | les miserables [ab] | ] |
ir dīvaini apzināties, cik ļoti priecīga es šodien biju auskultēt govis. that just made my day.
parunāties ar viņām, paglaudīt.. feel their hearts.. ļaut nolaizīt savas rokas un sajust, kā tā tiek ievilktas mutē.
govis ir foršas. govis ir back. un i missed them.
[rīgā nav govis]
un arī zirgi the day before that bija forši..
as i said before - my life is awesome, i love it. |
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| mani nekas vairs nepārsteidz |
[Dec. 5th, 2012|09:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | morāli izvarota | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mumford and sons - awake my soul | ] |
gāze mikrobioloģijas laboratorijā beidzas reizi trīs gados..
vai tas, ka viņa tā beidzās tieši mūsu grupas labora laikā, mani pārsteidz?
Nē! |
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| acceptance |
[Dec. 2nd, 2012|02:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lazy as usual | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dark knight rises [ost] | ] |
Šīs nakts dižākā doma:
I love my parents, they're perfect..
I love my brother, he's awesome and getting more and more awesome everyday..
I love my friends, best friends anyone can dream of..
I love my roommates, can't imagine living with any other people..
I love my studies, they're interesting and captivating and fun and what I want..
I love my dog, he's most loving and caring, and understanding, and crazy, and adorable dog you can have..
I love my life, it's perfect..
The only thing I don't like is myself, but I'm working on it. |
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[Nov. 30th, 2012|11:05 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | need some music | ] |
so what - if the spiritual food comes before the physical?
it's just the way i am. |
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| āāāār - row |
[Nov. 29th, 2012|11:30 pm] |
āā.. arrow ar katru sēriju kļūst arvien labāks.. un es lēnām tieku ievilkta neizbēgamos atkarības tīklos.. un drīz jau sezonas beigas.. āāāā.. |
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| i saw a ghost. i was a ghost. |
[Nov. 23rd, 2012|11:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | still ill | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | TEB atkārtojums sievietēm | ] |
neskatoties uz to, ka ir redzēts gan sixth sense, gan the others, gan daudz citas analoģiskas filmas, man tomēr līdz pašām sapņa beigām nepieleca, kāpēc tie visi cilvēki mani neredz.. laikam jau tāpēc, ka tie bija visi mājinieki and nobody wants to believe all your family dead.. un gordonam es vnk piedēvēju paranormālas spējas, kā jau sunim. bet tad it all came to me in flashes, kā jau filmās klasiski notiek - all the signs to prove them dead. un it was in b&w.. tā kā sapnis ar specefektiem.. |
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| thank you for today |
[Nov. 12th, 2012|12:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | les miserables [ab] | ] |
you are a good shrink :) |
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| šodienas secinājums: |
[Nov. 10th, 2012|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired and happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | queen - you're my best friend | ] |
ja tavi pupi ir lieli un pakaļa arī, tev jābrauc uz Igauniju pirkt drēbes, jo tur tu jutīsies kā normāls cilvēks. |
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| Good morning folks! |
[Nov. 10th, 2012|02:48 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | back to sleep | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | u2 - sometimes you can't make it on your own | ] |
Just had another of those dying dreams again. Nezinu, būtu bišku māņticīgāka, sāktu uztraukties.
īpaši ņemot vērā, ka apm. pussekunde šķīra mani no collision with an at least 60 km/h going car un man pat nebija austiņas. Īstenībā es pat nesapratu, kas notika and moved on. un tikai like 15 minutes later, man palika weird.. one more step and.. apziņa, ka death is permanent.
Un visos no šiem sapņiem es kinda zinu laicīgi, that my days are numbered.. un visos gadījumos es reaģēju vienādi -> I laugh, un visās reizēs tas notiek tuvāko 4 gadu laikā, before I get children, kas vnm ir the only thing I regret before dying. fun.
_____________________
I believe in childhood. I believe it matters. |
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| rīt es ņemu akadēmisko dienu.. |
[Nov. 9th, 2012|10:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pointless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | watching arrow | ] |
Can't escape the idea, that we used to be Meredith and Cristina, but we're not anymore. I don't know who we are. I guess we're us. It's like - I have this idea of the world in my head and the real world doesn't fit that idea, and the funny thing is -> I care.
Caring is weird and painful - it's so much easier to be indifferent, bet arī indeferentajam kairinātājam izstrādājas nosacījuma reflekss. Kinda sucks! Life isn't supposed to go the way you expect it, it just goes on like the show.
Quoting John: 'When you find that one person who connects you to the world, you become someone different, someone better. When that person is taken from you, what do you become then?'
Then there's that another thing. I've started to think those people to whom I related in my meanness, whom I looked up to and thought they understood me better than my own mother.. I've started to think them mean, because there must be some kind of line, tolerance and pity. Un the weird thing is - I'm the one, who has pity and is disappointed. I've been disappointed to often lately [caring does that to you], and my buried trust issues start to come up, not sure I trust anyone right now.
Life goes in circles, and I think another one is coming to it's end for me. Or maybe I started to like myself.
p.s. it's all very good and wise to accuse people of not being good enough people, but what have I done to be otherwise myself?! |
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| need to see John |
[Nov. 3rd, 2012|05:55 pm] |
that feeling of emptiness after watching 28 episodes in a row when you have to wait a week to see the 29th. |
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| one of those days |
[Oct. 24th, 2012|06:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | so so | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | kojas | ] |
that weird feeling when you want people to talk to you, but don't want to talk back. |
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[Oct. 19th, 2012|08:08 am] |
Es jau paspéju aizmirst, ka I will never be good enough daughter for her.
The day is ruined even before I'm out of bed. |
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