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June 12th, 2009
07:12 pm - Quotation
Theo: Opa, ты часом не помнишь, как звали того кубиста, которого вместе с Пикассо обвинили в краже Моны Лизы?
Opa: Это который Малевич?
Theo: Да не квадратист, а Кубист!
Opa: Фидель?!
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June 5th, 2009
08:56 pm
Freakin' ugly, officially.
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June 2nd, 2009
10:33 pm - Imagine
I am a storm and I blast you away. Just because it has always been about power. You know what gives me that, what gives me what I long most. Not only the need to be admired. There is sunshine in your smile, my storm kills it, my earthquake brakes it. It brakes you. Into many little peaces. Only bad weather, darkness, all of that is inside, and I am leting it out. It is necessary to loose control. From time to time, I live from time to time. A whirpool of angry thoughts, tornado of fears and doubts. I unleash my wrath upon you, because you are my world. I owe you nothing.
Then the last string will loose its precious voice, it will become a very useless siren indeed. I still hear a sound, no, a ghost of a sound, just you all, people, are just ghosts. You do not exist, because I don't want to believe in you - you lost your faith in me, I lost my self-control. And I so need to be admired, still. By the mess I cause, by the wrongs I set free. By all that I am seen and feared. Is that not incredibly close to what I seek? Is your point of infinity set already, too? I crash the foreign ghostly melody, because it hurts to see. My voice screams havoc into existance.
So what, in fact, changed and when? How come you are the first to smile and laugh while they set fire below my feet. How come you stay to watch me burn and then you celebrate? The smell of burning red hair, burning skin and bones. Does not bother, does not hurt, do not care. It has become all you know to do - not care, ignore. Your own blessing of the century of apathy. Next century is katatonic, there will be no way back. And I shall not save it, just for the sake of it. I shall watch it burn and smile. Still, I am all alone in what I do, in what I feel.
My dreams died with your indifference, it became worse than death. Keep the dream alive and burning? Trust me, dear, you can never do both. You set fire to something and anger is born. Then, I take the fire within you, I am the rage. Now all of you know how it feels when it controls you.
I am the storm of the century, and I will blast away this miserable, unworthy world, because my world is already gone. Oh may it go to hell!
Current Music: Katatonia
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May 26th, 2009
02:14 pm
-You better rush upon the blade than enter the Circle with fear. How do you enter the Circle?
-With perfect love and perfect trust.
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May 8th, 2009
May 6th, 2009
10:18 pm - Stagnation, phase 2
Pieces of everything, like shattered glass. I feel the loss again, I feel my sense of reality magically vanishing into some other person, any other person. There is this feeling of...disappointment, I guess. I had everything I wanted and now I don't feel like it's mine anymore, I don't feel any kind of ground under my feet. Not a thing. There must be something we could do about this. There must be something wrong with us. Where is all the excitement hiding? That special feeling decided to go on a vacation. I just so hope it's coming back.
I'd feel more confident, if I were beautiful.
Ak Dievs, es esmu tik tukša! Un citādāka - nekad neesmu bijusi.
Izliekusies, ha.
Current Music: Opeth - Hex Omega
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May 5th, 2009
10:47 pm - Equilibrium
Do I lie to myself when I say I'm happy or do I when I say I'm sad?
Some people say that creativity is easy and cheerful, some others are sure creativity requires a certain amount of deep inner suffering. I'm not sure, but I think it's both. Depends on the kind of creativity...the weak one requires no difficult feelings, one can be quite content and happy to write those. There are rarely good happy writers. The more or less depressed guys are the best. Women have to have suffered more than men to become good writers - therefore, there's not really a lot of them. Their works are filled with something more than just talent.
It's wrong to say that depressive writers write depressive works. They sometimes even produce a kind of an utopy. But who can know happiness better than a person who's known too much sadness? Thy become experts in both, when they are in balance.
Now, being in balance is what requires lots and lots of talent.
Ziedonis is a freak. And each one will understand this in one's own way.
Current Music: Dio - Strange Highways
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April 30th, 2009
10:01 pm
PVC and Manson. SO lame. But I still kind of enjoy the style.
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April 27th, 2009
08:35 pm - Vajag brīvprātīgos
Būtu jauki, ja atrastos kādi vismaz 5 kreiļi un vismaz 5 labrochi, kas piekristu piedalīties manā bioloģijas pētījumā vasarā. Tas nesāp un jums par to neviens nemaksās. Brīvprātīgos lūdzu sākt pieteikties jau tagad. "Questions comments" arī tepat.
Edit: Gribētājiem varu izpētīt arī sāpju impulsu uztveri. Bet tas uz pasūtījuma un darbā netiks iekļauts.
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April 15th, 2009
10:41 pm
You definitely know something has gone wrong in your life when sleep becomes your only solace, the only safe place to hide from the world and from people...the only place where you actually want to be.
Current Music: Bliss - Sleep Will Come
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