23 October 2026 @ 05:21 pm
 
Arvien ciinja starp kaut kaadu remdenu noziimi un aukstu tukshumu. Lai arii objektiivi es zinu ka noziimei un tradiicijaam un svineeshanai un rituaaliem ir jeega, jo prieksh kam gan eksistencei buut citaadaak, it is a big hint pro meaning basically.

Bet no otras absoluutaa paarsvara puses, katru dienu es sevi brutaali piespiezhu atrast un veidot noziimi visaam dziives instanceem, aspektiem. Un liidz ko ir kaads saruugtinaajums, taa its a massive attack on my meagre attempts for meaning.

Nothingness.. "is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes."

Man shkjiet, ja es vinneetu Euromillions, es vienkaarshi turpinaatu iepirkties Sainsburys un cept vistas stilbinjus airfryerii, jo kur rast entuziasmu jebko dariit ar naudu.

Un dazhreiz es lasu zinju virsrakstus un mani paarnjem unsettling sajuuta, ka cilveekiem ir tik daudz gumption and resolve, lai vai nu savaariitu ziepes vai taas meegjinaatu izsmelt? Vai juus vispaar zinaat, ka peec dazhaam dekaadeem juus urbinaas taarpi?

Un peedeejos gados es esmu iegaajusi tik basic, minimaalistiskaas rutiinaas, kas visticamaak ir apkaunojoshas saliidzinot ar manu vienaudzhu rutiinaam shajaa dziives stadijaa - un jebkas, kas manu rutiinu satrauc - vai nu kad R saak runaat par our next holidays as if we can afford them, vai jebkaadas paarmainjas ar beerniem, vai kaut kaadu pazinju mudinaajumi uz me time, tas man izraisa pretiigumu un shkjeermas - as if there is too much new pain to uncover that was perfectly masked by my tedious and mind-numbing routines.

Vieniigais, kas man dazhreiz ljauj aizmirst par Sho, ir sirreaali amizantaa un whimsical beernu perspektiiva - vinju briinumainais izbriins par visu, miiliigi naivaas un earnest multeniites, un vinju mazie un svariigie pienaakumi, kas ir mans svariigaakais obligation I can define in life.