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[Jan. 27th, 2009|02:16 pm] |
The Top Signs You've Been a Judge Too Long
- "I hereby sentence you to XLVII years of imprisonment." - You've worn a butt-shaped imprint into the bench. - You were the first judge on the original "Divorce Court" in 1957. And you looked old then. - You've outlived the President who appointed you to that lifetime position by two lifetimes already. - No matter how hard he tries, your clerk just can't get that "old judge smell" out of your chambers.
The Top Signs Your Computer Was a Rock Band's Former Web Server
- A small cloud of groupie Blackberries is constantly hovering around it. - It doesn't have any green pixels. - It won't boot up before noon. - It can be overclocked up to 11 GHz. - The fans are really loud, especially after 10pm. - Every few nights it trashes your desktop. - The hard drive comes with liner notes.
The Top Benefits of 6D Technology
- Porn. - Now that you can project your Second Life into your "first" life, it makes it seem a bit less pathetic. Or more so, depending on how you look at it. - Cross-eyed geeks can finally watch 3-D movies. - While 6D is obviously twice as good as original 3D, it is inferior to the new 9D standard and the much-anticipated future specs for 12D. - Better economic models so that we can see exactly how messed up the situation is. - The Golf Channel will SO rock! - It's twice as good as that lousy 3D crap you normally live in.
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