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[Sep. 30th, 2008|02:09 pm]
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They say if you have positive thoughts about something, t will happen. Well, I've been thinking positively about my neighbor's 19-year-old daughter, but so far, no luck. I think maybe my wife's negative thoughts are interfering.
Maurizio Mariotti


The Top Signs You're a Character in a Video Game

- Your solution to the health care problem: Guzzle every bottle you can find.
- You never have to buy anything. You just pick up stuff you find lying around.
- You carry around every weapon you own, from a knife to a napalm-firing bazooka, with ammo for each.
- Constantly telling kids about the olden days of eight bits, when you had black dots for eyes and were thankful for that.
- You drive like a maniac, breaking traffic laws and running people over left and right, and never seem to get in much trouble about it -- but you aren't Halle Berry or Nick Nolte.
- Every day it's the same routine: Wake up, kill between 20 and 500 aliens, eventually get shot, start the day over.
- You get knocked out by a +2 Pretzel of Choking, yet still manage to defeat the Evil Dictator.
- Your tombstone reads, "Try Again? Y/N"


The Top Slogans for Legalized Marijuana

- Got Buzz?
- Pot: When You Care Enough Not to Care At All
- A Day Without Pot is Like School
- Weed My Lips!
- Hey, America -- Let's Blow This joint!
- What's So Great About Short-Term Memory Anyway?
- Obey Your Jones
- Hemp: The world's practical solution to making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and stuff
- It's Not Just For Glaucoma Anymore!
- Help Eradicate Road Rage in Our Lifetime
- Official Sponsor of the NBA
- Because the waste is a terrible thing to mi... Dude! I totally f***ed that up!

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