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[Jun. 9th, 2008|01:12 pm] |
One school of thought says that alcohol is the tool of the devil -- though I tend to believe that the resulting hangover is more his style. Blaine Hofmockel
You know something's fundamentally out-of-whack with the economy when you have to use your Economic Stimulus rebate check to pay your bankruptcy lawyer. Mark Spence
The Top Worst-Selling Items at Frederick's of Hollywood
- "Flight 93" adult party game - Blow-up doll modeled after Danny DeVito - Indiana Jones whip and fur-lined handcuffs - Marlon Brando model lacy thong - McGyver "Erector" set - The "A.I." walking, talking teddy - Macaulay Culkin's "Home Alone!" self-gratification kit - Corsets by Calista! - Robin Williams' crocheted crotch-hair nightgown - "Jurassic Park" brontosaurus-size vibrator - Britney Spears crotched panties - "The American Public" brand anal lube, by OPEC
The Top Ways The Frankensteins Celebrate Their Anniversary
- Just like every other day: matching his-and-hers electrified nipple clamps. - Dinner, movie and a nice oil change. - A quiet little romantic dinner by torchlight. - Sit around the old homestead, eating soup and playing violin music. - Book a romantic tropical vacation, then decimate the place when the tiki torches are lit. - Reinvigorating couples' spa treatment at Interstate Battery. - Crank the bed up to the castle roof during a thunderstorm to try and recapture that spark.
The Top 13 Least-Loved Mystery Novels
- Who Stole the President's Brain? - "Y" Is for Yawner - I Search by Night, Except When There's a Sophia Episode of "The Golden Girls" on TVland - Sherlock's Homies - The Hard Boys and the Case of the Levitating Math Book - The Mystery of Why John Grisham Is So Popular - The Curse of the Insipid Plot Device - The Mystery of Women and Why Your Lame Ass Will NEVER Solve it - The DeVito Code - (Long,Slow, Untraceable Lead-Based Paint) Murder on the Orient Express - Silent But Deadly: The Methane Murders - Osama, Where Art Thou? - Murder by the Jilted Lover Who Confesses on Page 216 - Look to Your Head: The Case of the Missing Eyeglasses - Father O'Brien and the Case of the Coquettish Altar Boy - Murder at the Butlers Convention - The Little Engine That Could Have Committed Murder Most Foul - Shrinkage: The Guy Who Came in From the Cold - Dial "1" to Continue in English - "N" Is for Natural Causes
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