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[Jun. 4th, 2008|08:05 am] |
Правительство решило порадовать пенсионеров новой льготой - бесплатным полётом вокруг Солнца - раз в год, на планете Земля.
Буратино разгадывает кроссворд, Мальвина заглядывает ему через плечо.
- Милый, ну сколько можно говорить... Женский половой орган из пяти букв - это п.., а не дупло!
- Чингачгук Викторович, а ваш папа любил смотреть кино?
- Да.
- А какой у него любимый фильм?
- Догадайтесь сами, до вас никто не ошибался.
- Евгений! Евгений, ну на кого ты похож!
- На маму.
- Ой ли, Евгений. Сильно сомневаюсь, что Лариса Леонидовна - пьяное закомплексованное чмо!...
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jun. 4th, 2008|01:21 pm] |
When protecting your personal belongings, it's best to take a lesson or two from the animal kingdom. The next guy at the office who tries to steal my grapes will be caught off-guard when I spread out the skin of my neck to make my head look three times as big.
a *different* Chris White
I think kids appreciate it when adults actually treat them like people. Little, stupid people who cry a lot.
Bob Van Voris
The Top Projects Lingerie Engineers Are Working On
- A bra strap that would fall off just by your stare.
- An aphrodisiac that makes lingerie models want to sleep with engineers.
- Hypno-Lacies, to convince him you're desirable when the fashion and cosmetics industries have utterly failed.
- Offensive Brassiere (BMD): Next time he stares at your breasts while talking to you, lasers shoot out and melt his face off.
- The Mood Bra: Green means "yes" and red eliminates that "when does 'no' mean 'no'?" confusion.
- Voice activated self-opening bras.
- Whatever it is, they are insisting on lots of in-house testing by real supermodels.
- Bra with a fold-down flap to display nipple piercings.
- Cellular Panties, to let your S.O. know not to call at the wrong time.
- Lift bras that only go into "boost" mode when near single millionaires.
- Electrified bra to keep roaming hands at bay. (Female engineers only.)
- The Reality Distortion Field bra. Creates bigger hype but it is so cool you don't care.
- SmartTeddi: Lace teddy that can beat Deep Blue at chess.
No TopFive.com |
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