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Jun. 4th, 2008|01:21 pm |
When protecting your personal belongings, it's best to take a lesson or two from the animal kingdom. The next guy at the office who tries to steal my grapes will be caught off-guard when I spread out the skin of my neck to make my head look three times as big.
a *different* Chris White
I think kids appreciate it when adults actually treat them like people. Little, stupid people who cry a lot.
Bob Van Voris
The Top Projects Lingerie Engineers Are Working On
- A bra strap that would fall off just by your stare.
- An aphrodisiac that makes lingerie models want to sleep with engineers.
- Hypno-Lacies, to convince him you're desirable when the fashion and cosmetics industries have utterly failed.
- Offensive Brassiere (BMD): Next time he stares at your breasts while talking to you, lasers shoot out and melt his face off.
- The Mood Bra: Green means "yes" and red eliminates that "when does 'no' mean 'no'?" confusion.
- Voice activated self-opening bras.
- Whatever it is, they are insisting on lots of in-house testing by real supermodels.
- Bra with a fold-down flap to display nipple piercings.
- Cellular Panties, to let your S.O. know not to call at the wrong time.
- Lift bras that only go into "boost" mode when near single millionaires.
- Electrified bra to keep roaming hands at bay. (Female engineers only.)
- The Reality Distortion Field bra. Creates bigger hype but it is so cool you don't care.
- SmartTeddi: Lace teddy that can beat Deep Blue at chess.
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