Šajās brīvdienās reālā realitāte mani zaudēja. Un man nav ne jausmas, kādus paņēmienus viņa izmantos, lai dabūtu mani atpakaļ. But it certainly won't be pretty. Hopefully, it will be fast, though.

Tags: uz redzēšanos
Current Mood: tra la lā
Current Music: dead silence

man šķiet, ka man tūlīt beigsies visas skatāmās nebriesmīgās filmas.

Vietu dzīvē, kur pašlaik atrodos, var [diezgan detalizēti] aprakstīt desmit vārdos. Pieci virsrakstā izmantotie + pieci nākamie: Nekāda koncerta; Laba filma; Gruzaviks.

Pirmo reizi pēdējā [vismaz] mēneša laikā devos uz pirmdienas franču valodu. and instantly regretted it. kontroldarba nebija, bet nebija arī pilnīgi nekā cita, kas dotu jebkādu [kaut vai mazāko] ieguldījumu manā franču valodā. nu labi, es beidzot atceros, ka 'les fesses' ir dibens/dibena vaigi.

It kā jau man liekas, ka viss ir daudzmaz kārtībā. un tad es, pastaigājoties ar Hugo [jau vairāko reizi], nosperu no Ditas cilindriņu svaiga gaisa. un tā ir ļoti slikta zīme. es tā nedarīju pat ziemas sesijā.

Tags: atskaite
Current Mood: focused
Current Music: smth barely here

But who am I to say such a hypocritical thing.

All I do for last five years is pretending to study, earning some money to live through the month, going to University and listening to things I don't particulary like.

I've always said to others, that you should do what you like. What makes you happy and helps you live fully. But I've also always thought that you shouldn't do things if you are not capable of doing them as good as you possibly can (or even not only you can, but is possible to do in general). This popped in to my mind yesterday while watching my sisters perform in a concert. Renāte has always wanted to dance, but with every year it gets harder for her. Nevertheless, she has kept on fighting with mom and doctor and everybody just to keep going to the rehersals each week. And each second week we have a new drama about the same topic. And for what? Asthma and all those seizures and stuff have pushed her into dancing in this particular concert just one dance. One little silly dance.

I wouldn't do it. Or so I think. And here I am. Not doing anything. Not drawing, not singing, not writing, not reading, not training my dog and not even studying. Yeah, I have plenty of excuses and some of them are actually pretty legit (like earning money to be able to do smth, but not being able to actually do it because of the lack of time, while if I had spare time, I wouldn't have money to do it anyway), but aparently not all of them or else I wouln't have this time to whine about things.

Tags: complaints
Current Mood: čiki čiki bum
Current Music: Hit the Floor

yesterday [or night would be more correct] I spent some six or seven hours watching animation movies. mostly japanese. was at work, so nobody could tell me to go to sleep.
tonight it's another shrilling shrieking fight at my house. nobody's doing anything, everybody's angry at almost everybody. everybody's yelling, but I'm watching Twilight auf Deutsch.
made me think about going to school more often.

Tags: atskaite again
Current Mood: kind of sad
Current Music: paramore

Why can't we just mentally gather the information from the books which are in our bookshelves for a very long time? Why do we need to actually read them? It takes up so much of our [meaning 'mine'] time. [A train was an option but i always fall asleep.]

Tags: jautājums
Current Mood: a bit disappointed
Current Music: lol

Hopefully, this wasn't [and still isn't] the first week of the rest of my life.

It is very hard to teach a language you yourself are not confident in. It's totally Not like teaching math. But even harder is to wake up two mornings in a row to be at school at 8:30. On the second day I didn't wake up, though. And had the magnificient opportunity to stand at the door for some ten minutes. (party) And later on to wait two and a half hours just to find out that French is cancelled [when I finally decided to go to it after a two week non-attendance].
Oh yeah, and I'm totally over telling how I'm actually doing to strangers because after my "Well, this week has just started but I already don't know how I'm going to survive it" followed his "If you give me your number, you'll survive" [really didn't see it coming].
On the next day another dictation [in the last one I got 14 mistakes, and having 15 is failing], another German torture. Another evening with just sleep on my mind.
And although this is a kind of my day-off ['This' meaning friday and saturday as well], there are million things need to be done for the next week which promises even more challenges [both - mental and physical].

Goodnight, everyone.

Tags: atskaite
Current Mood: sleepy/creepy
Current Music: smth with 'dead men talking/walking'

Pirmkārt, mana mamma grāmatas lasa vēl ātrāk nekā es. "Eņģeļi un dēmoni" aizgāja nenormālā ātrumā. (Pilnīgi apgriezti manām spējām pašreiz kko lasīt. Lai gan man ir viens spēcīgs kandidāts. Kurš ir augstākajā mērā jokains.)
Otrkārt, viņa man neticēja, kad es teicu, ka mana anormālā temperatūra varētu būt izskaidrojama ar to, ka es guļu zem divām siltākajām segām, kādas mājās ir atrodamas. Bet tā taču varētu gadīties, ne?
Treškārt, misiju vīzijas uzņem apgriezienus. Un pēdējā bija pilnīgi nesaistīta ar kādu grāmatu vai filmu vai vēl ko. Totally new.

Tags: atskaite
Current Mood: slimīgs
Current Music: -

Ir grāmatas, kuras lasot tu vnk nonāc citā pasaulē. Autori, kas māk uzrakstīt tā, ka tu vnk iegrimsti visā, ko viņi pasniedz. [Lasot latviski ārkārtīgi novērtēju arī tulkotāju prasmes, kas noteikti ir neatsveramas.] Un ir autori, kuriem savas spožās idejas būtu jāpardod kādam [vai vismaz jāsadarbojas ar kādu], kas mācētu viņas iznest/Uzrakstīt. Nu kāda jēga no lieliskām idejām visas grāmatas garumā, ja visu laiku jādomā par to, cik ļoti labāk tas varētu tikt paveikts.
Es šobrīd esmu tur, kur man steidzami vajag kādu "režģi", kurā salikt visus savus smilšu graudiņus, citādāk vai nu es sajūgšos vai.. tam vnk nebūs jēgas.

Tas, protams, nemaz nav īsts plāns. Tā ir tikai tāda iedoma, ko gribētu veltīt Hugo. Es zinu, cik ļoti viņam patīk skraidīt pa āru un dzīvoties sniegā, peļķēs, zālītē, vienalga. Tāpēc būtu tik skaisti, ja viņš savas dzīves laikā tiktu pie pastāvīgas mājas, no kuras astoņos no rīta izskriet ārā padauzīties ar lielo suni un ienākt atpakaļ tikai pēc vairākām stundām. Būtībā ir tikai divi varianti. Ātri sapelnīt daudz naudas vai atrast kādu ar daudz naudas vai vismaz māju.

Ā, trešā iespēja - uzdāviniet kāds man mājiņu.

Tags: atskaite
Current Mood: apcerīgs
Current Music: TV series

There was a time (a very long time ago) when me and my sisters were sitting near the garden in my countryside, talking with my granddad and later arguing about who of us will marry him when we grow up. Some time later we kind of uderstood that we cannot marry exactly him, but we were totally convinced that we will find someone like him and marry that guy.
Today I'm once again back from my countryside. But it seems that this was the time when I grew up. At least in some way. During my stay there I understood that I just could not live together with someone like my grandfather. Maybe we have the same annoying traits, maybe I just do not understand his sense of humor anymore, maybe we just see the world too diferently.

This was my last childhood ideal/faiy-tale, who was not destroyed. As far as I remember.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: māsas placebo

That's why I don't watch news. She is there. The girl who I have disliked all my life. The girl who lives the life I wanted. And now. She comes up every time I want her to come up the least. I need to learn to control my jelousy.

Tags: grr
Current Mood: kuš kuš

Ir 23. decembra vakars. Ārā ir skaista ziema, kas sola tikpat skaistus svētkus. Siltus jums šī gada Ziemassvētkus un izbaudiet viņus no sirds! Jo, par spīti cerībām un mēģinājumiem visu savest kārtībā, man šie svētki šogad ir atcelti.

Tags: neatceries

tralalā, tralalā, viss ir baigā pakaļā. es atvainojos par izteicienu, bet, ziniet - ja jums [pš, ar ko es vispār sarunājos] pustrijos naktī būtu jāsēž pie kompja, lai uzrakstītu piecu lappušu garu samurgojumu par kko filozofisku [manā gadījumā Sartru un eksistenciālismu], tad diezin vai jūsu noskaņas stipri atšķirtos. lai gan zināms ieguvums ir - es tagad zinu, ko domā eksistenciālisms. vismaz pa daļai.

Tags: nakts noskaņās
Current Mood: kšršzklsngiropgn