But who am I to say such a hypocritical thing.

All I do for last five years is pretending to study, earning some money to live through the month, going to University and listening to things I don't particulary like.

I've always said to others, that you should do what you like. What makes you happy and helps you live fully. But I've also always thought that you shouldn't do things if you are not capable of doing them as good as you possibly can (or even not only you can, but is possible to do in general). This popped in to my mind yesterday while watching my sisters perform in a concert. Renāte has always wanted to dance, but with every year it gets harder for her. Nevertheless, she has kept on fighting with mom and doctor and everybody just to keep going to the rehersals each week. And each second week we have a new drama about the same topic. And for what? Asthma and all those seizures and stuff have pushed her into dancing in this particular concert just one dance. One little silly dance.

I wouldn't do it. Or so I think. And here I am. Not doing anything. Not drawing, not singing, not writing, not reading, not training my dog and not even studying. Yeah, I have plenty of excuses and some of them are actually pretty legit (like earning money to be able to do smth, but not being able to actually do it because of the lack of time, while if I had spare time, I wouldn't have money to do it anyway), but aparently not all of them or else I wouln't have this time to whine about things.