04:49 pm - Salvia
Normāls
eksperiments, varbūt biš pa daudz science shit, bet vispār tīri interesants.
08:09 pm - Žīdu joki. Nekas personīgs.
I know a Jewish bloke who cries every time he thinks about his ancestors being detained in the concentration camps.
He just can't get over all that unpaid work they did.
God decided he needed a holiday.
One of his aides suggested Venus. "Forget it," said God, "I went there 10,000 years ago and suffered from the most terrible sunburn."
Another aide suggested Jupiter. "No way," God replied, "I went there 5,000 years ago and froze my holy arse off."
A third advisor suggested Earth. "That's the worst suggestion yet!" remarked God, angrily. "I went there 2,000 years ago and they're still accusing me of knocking up some stupid Jewish bitch!"
So, Israel continues to kill a lot of innocent civilians, every day, in the Gaza strip.
It appears that Hitler, quite literally, taught them a lesson!
What does a Jew with an erection get when he runs into a wall?
A broken nose.
God came down and first he went to the Germans and said "I have ten Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
And the Germans asked "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said "Rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."
So He went to the Italians and said "I have Commandments."
And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shalt not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."
He went to the French and said "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife."
"Not covet my neighbours wife? We're not interested."
He went to the Jews and said "I have Commandments."
"Commandments? How much are they?"
"They're free."
"Good then, we'll take 10!"
My lad came home from school yesterday and asked, "Dad, am I a Jew or am I a Gypsy?"
I asked why he wanted to know.
He said, "Because a kid at school is selling a bike for thirty quid. Should I offer him fifteen or just steal it?"
A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please, God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat!" |
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