i would like i had someone that could answer on this question instead of me every time i'm asked - i'd never been good at deciding how exactly do i feel. there's a bit of pretty much everything, including a tinge of true joy and a barely visible hue of something suicidal or homicidal. and something i doubt i could express in bare words, without direct touch of minds. something i would probably want to tell you.

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well..then - what's keepin' you? :)

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i don't know what i could say less than a hour ago, but now nothing keeps me from answer - nothing's keeping me. not anymore, or so it seems. strange that feeling that should be defined as a kind of freedom is so far from what i think as of true freedom. i will tell you what i wanted to say. a bit later, maybe. you won't disappear, will you?

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nay, i won't :)

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maybe it's all i need (want?), then.

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i cannot know, what's on your mind.
sometimes i have a difficulty with understanding my own.

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as we all have, we who are able to think at all.
in my mind, there is too much of things even i detest to see.
then again, sometimes, it is all i have.
and, when you abruptly lose something, or someone, important to you, everything seems to lose its meaning, or, what is worse, only the part of meaning it shouldn't lose, while the rotten core remains.

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