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never asked anything. [16. Aug 2010|20:40]
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he used to love us, he did. his own special way. taught karate. gave money. never asked anything. but he lost all he believed into. never good at loosing, my daddy. and he never let anyone hurt him. thats worst there is. thats me.
and i just cant touch him. i just cant touch my own personal daddy. all i ever want is to come close and hug him and cry out all my love all my love i always tried to kill, just tell him how much i miss him, miss, miss, miss. and all i can is just smile and look straight into his eyes and offer him death.
Linkjā/nē

Comments:
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:16. Augusts 2010 - 21:32
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does he knows your feelings?
what could be worse thing to happen? oh i know answer to this - nothing or something.
well un viņš nevar tikt vainots just par to ka viņš uzskaa ka staļins ir labs. i mean he should believe that lies cos only lies worth to believing in is those in bible.
man priekšnieks bija pārliecināts ka padomju armija izglāba latviju no nacisma un ir labi ka tā. gāja uz visiem uzvaras parka pasākumiem, nēsāja gregora lentīti. līdz brīdim kad kolēģi viņam paskaidroja visas detaļas.
vai tētiņš ir bijis okupācijas muzejā?
[User Picture]
From:[info]az
Date:16. Augusts 2010 - 21:52
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worse? dont know. he could kill me. or rape me. or rape and kill me.
and i believe that. its like i must agree to that first. and only then touch him.

funny, that. tētiņš tic, ka ir tikai viena nācija, kas ir tiesīga būt - krievi. un viņš pats ir polis, u know. un viņa ģimene smagi cieta karā. no abām pusēm, arī no krieviem. bet viņš uzskata, ka poļi bija pelnījuši to visu, vismaz krievu daļu. un viņš ir atradis vēsturi, kura to apliecina. viņš ir izlasījis tūkstošiem grāmatu par labu krievijai.
okupācijas muzejā tētiņš noteikti smaidītu.
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 04:43
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pavisam.
[User Picture]
From:[info]az
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 08:16
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taa notiek, ja viirieti nemiil. vins saak karot.
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 08:34
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Jū, big problem that is - women have network of support in times of emotional rejection, - man on other hand cant have talk about how they really feels to their mates. man are just not made for such a rituals. but that doestn mean that it doenst hurt. so basically when man loses his female-mate he loses way to express his emotions. i wouldnt exactly say that man starts to war then, but suspended emotions do bad stuff. like makeing one believe that only nation who got rights to be is russians.
[User Picture]
From:[info]az
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 08:53
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there is always this little girl inside every man, of course. men have their chance.
men and women has long history. things have happened. not that much equality and respect. more like enslaving and manipulation. and famous fears of closeness.
daddy never let anyone come close. thats ur basic war rule.
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 16:45
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oh, tāpēc vīrieši ir lielāki? viņos dzīvo mazas meitenes. AZ māca anatomiju. shocking as always.
why he does that? i mean - in every war theres some goals - what is his goal?
neļaut nevienam nākt tuvu?
[User Picture]
From:[info]az
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 19:32
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un katrā mazā meitenītē ir liels vīrietis, protams. es jau nemācu, es dalos ar informāciju ;p

he just wants to kill himself. war is one of those legal ways.
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 20:27
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see. it is not very produktīvs veids kā dzīvot. wanting to kill oneself.
ja viņš redzētu, ka az meklē veidus kā mīlēt viņu. aij.
protams, tas viss nenāk par labu az. mīlot, neapšaubāmi, ir labs veids kā pavadīt dzīvi un veselīgs, bet ne personu, kura pēc az domām var aij. un meklēt veidus kā tādu mīlēt. kaut gan tu meklē veidu, kā mīlēt savu tētiņu, nevis personu kura var aij.
[User Picture]
From:[info]az
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 20:34
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maybe he does. u never know with life.

really, i should somehow say thanks to u. only i lost "nation". if i ever find, can i send u? or uve already got ur own personal one?
[User Picture]
From:[info]mapet
Date:17. Augusts 2010 - 20:53
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funny thing. i think i have had that book, but cant find it anymore. so yes, whe you find your book then say and i will tell you details to send it.
un es nekad nezināšu vai esmu pircis to grāmatu, jo pāris jānis roze čeki ir izbalējuši.