Axa

According to the philosopher, Ly Tin Wheedle, chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organised.

All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.

You could end up being totally, oddly sad and full of compassion which would lead you to believe that it might be a good idea to wipe out the whole human race and start again with amoebas.

The truth is that even big collections of ordinary books distort space, as can readily be proved by anyone who has been around a really old-fashioned secondhand bookshop, one of those that look as though they were designed by M. Escher on a bad day and has more staircases than storeys and those rows of shelves which end in little doors that are surely too small for a full-sized human to enter. The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

The Gods Of The Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if thats where they believe, in their deepest hearts, that they deserve to go. Which they can't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight.

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."

Most people who have found that they are more intelligent than most around them, have yet to learn that one of the most intelligent things they can do is prevent said people ever finding this out.

When you hit your thumb with an 8 pound hammer, its nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very strong, special minded atheist to jump up and down, with their their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout "Oh random fluctuations in the space time continuum.

The problem with being a god is that you've no one to pray to.

Whats a philosopher? Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting.

Thats why its always worth having a few philosophers around, one minute its all is Truth Beauty, and is Beauty Truth?, and then, just when you think they're gonna start dribbling, one of em says, incidentally, putting a 30ft parabolic reflector on a high place to shoot the rays of the sun at an enemy ship would be a very interesting demonstration of optical principles.

Its a popular fact that 90% of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupi Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary grey goo if its only real purpose was, eg, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys, it is used. One of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary, and turn the unusual into the usual. Otherwise, human beings, forced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing a stupid grin, saying "WOW" a lot. Part of the brain exists to stop this happening. It is very efficient, and can make people experience boredom in the middle of marvels.