| un atkal un joprojām.. |
[Sep. 7th, 2010|08:38 pm] |
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| | gone with the wind [ab] - atkal | ] |
tā nolāpītā grāmata iedzīs mani kapā. un vēl iztēloties, ka viņai 38 reizes atteica, pirms publicēja.. a ja nu viņa pēc 37ās atteiktos no idejas dalīties šajā brīnumā! un es nekad nedabūtu izlasīt?! [bail domāt :P ]
es tiešām esmu pārliecināta, ka that it is th egreatest love story ever told [nu vismaz greatest - no manis lasītām] jo nevienā citā grāmatā tādas mīlestības nav [sūper skaidrojums] - tādas īstas un tik spēcīgas, kuras dēļ cilvēki rīkojas tik muļķīgi.. tādas mīlestības, kura rada tādas ciešanas.. tik sarežģītas.. es nezinu. tas kā viņi paši sev bojā dzīvi tāpēc, ka negrib atzīt savas jūtas un baidās ieraudzīt otra.. neticība kkādai laimei.. vēlme iespītēt.. prāta un sirds cīņa ne klasiskajā izpausmē. man vnk gribas kliegt!! āāāāāā!! un cilvēki tā dara, jo cilvēki ir stulbi!
un, protams, rets.. es varu atkal un atkal lasīt visus brīzus, kur viņš parādās, tas, ko viņš saka.. domā.. kā slēpj emocijas. cik viņš ir izglītots un prātīgs, sarkastisks un cinisks, iemīlējies, drošsirdīgs, stiprs.. un reizē tāds muļķis!!
1)Scarlett rose quickly, struggling with her anger.
- I was almost on the point of forgiving you for your former boorish conduct but now I shan’t do it. I wouldn’t have ever let you come upon this porch at all, if I hadn’t been feeling so blue and..
- Sit down and smooth your ruffled fur, - he said, and his voice changed. He reached up and taking her hand pulled her back into her chair. - Why are you blue?
- Oh, I had a letter from Tara today. The Yankees are close to home and my little sister is ill with typhoid and--and--so now, even if I could go home, like I want to, Mother wouldn’t let me for fear I’d catch it too. Oh, dear, and I do so want to go home!
- Well, don’t cry about it, - he said, but his voice was kinder.
2) - At your service, Madam. But just where were you figuring on going? I made the trip out here for curiosity, just to see where you were intending to go. You can’t go north or east or south or west. The Yankees are all around. [...] Just where are you going? [...]
- I’m going home, - she said. [...]
- Tara? God Almighty, Scarlett! Don’t you know they fought all day at Jonesboro? Fought for ten miles up and down the road from Rough and Ready even into the streets of Jonesboro? The Yankees may be all over Tara by now, all over the County. Nobody knows where they are but they’re in that neighborhood. You can’t go home! You can’t go right through the Yankee army!
- I will go home! - she cried. - I will! I will!
- You little fool, - and his voice was swift and rough. - You can’t go that way. Even if you didn’t run into the Yankees, the woods are full of stragglers and deserters from both armies. [...] You can’t go to Tara. Even if you got there, you’d probably find it burned down. I won’t let you go home. It’s insanity.
- I will go home! - she cried and her voice broke and rose to a scream. - I will go home! You can’t stop me! I will go home! I want my mother! I’ll kill you if you try to stop me! I will go home!
Tears of fright and hysteria streamed down her face as she finally gave way under the long strain. She beat on his chest with her fists and screamed again - I will! I will! If I have to walk every step of the way!
Suddenly she was in his arms, her wet cheek against the starched ruffle of his shirt, her beating hands stilled against him. His hands caressed her tumbled hair gently, soothingly, and his voice was gentle too. So gentle, so quiet, so devoid of mockery, it did not seem Rhett Butler’s voice at all but the voice of some kind strong stranger who smelled of brandy and tobacco and horses, comforting smells because they reminded her of Gerald.
3) - Then, tell me this. Was I the only iron you had in the fire? - His eyes were keen and alert, watching every change in her face.
- What do you mean?
- Was I the only man you were going to try this on?
- Is that any of your business?
- More than you realize. Are there any other men on your string? Tell me!
- No.
- Incredible. I can’t imagine you without five or six in reserve. Surely someone will turn up to accept your interesting proposition. I feel so sure of it that I want to give you a little advice.
- I don’t want your advice.
- Nevertheless I will give it. Advice seems to be the only thing I can give you at present. Listen to it, for it’s good advice. When you are trying to get something out of a man, don’t blurt it out as you did to me. Do try to be more subtle, more seductive. It gets better results. You used to know how, to perfection. But just now when you offered me your--er--collateral for my money you looked as hard as nails. I’ve seen eyes like yours above a dueling pistol twenty paces from me and they aren’t a pleasant sight. They evoke no ardor in the male breast. That’s no way to handle men, my dear. You are forgetting your early training.
- I don’t need you to tell me how to behave, - she said and wearily put on her bonnet. She wondered how he could jest so blithely with a rope about his neck and her pitiful circumstances before him. She did not even notice that his hands were jammed in his pockets in hard fists as if he were straining at his own impotence.
4) - If he loved you, then why in hell did he permit you to come to Atlanta to get the tax money? Before I’d let a woman I loved do that, I’d..
- He didn’t know! He had no idea that I..
- Doesn’t it occur to you that he should have known? - There was barely suppressed savagery in his voice. - Loving you as you say he does, he should have known just what you would do when you were desperate. He should have killed you rather than let you come up here.. and to me, of all people! God in Heaven!
- But he didn’t know!
- If he didn’t guess it without being told, he’ll never know anything about you and your precious mind.
5) But she met him by accident almost every day. Time and again, he came riding up to her buggy when she was passing through lonely stretches of Peachtree road and Decatur road where the mills lay. He always drew rein and talked and sometimes he tied his horse to the back of the buggy and drove her on her rounds. She tired more easily these days than she liked to admit and she was always silently grateful when he took the reins. [...] She wondered occasionally if these meetings were not more than accidental. They became more and more numerous as the weeks went by and as the tension in town heightened over negro outrages. But why did he seek her out, now of all times when she looked her worst?
[...]
- Don’t be a fool, - he said quietly. - And you are a fool, if you are crying for shame. Come, Scarlett, don’t be a child. Surely you must know that, not being blind, I knew you were pregnant.
She said - Oh, - in a stunned voice and tightened her fingers over her crimson face. The word itself horrified her. Frank always referred to her pregnancy embarrassedly as "your condition,” Gerald had been wont to say delicately “in the family way,” when he had to mention such matters, and ladies genteelly referred to pregnancy as being “in a fix.”
- You are a child if you thought I didn’t know, for all your smothering yourself under that hot lap robe. Of course, I knew. Why else do you think I’ve been--
He stopped suddenly and a silence fell between them. He picked up the reins and clucked to the horse. He went on talking quietly and as his drawl fell pleasantly on her ears, some of the color faded from her down-tucked face.
- I didn’t think you could be so shocked, Scarlett. I thought you were a sensible person and I’m disappointed. Can it be possible that modesty still lingers in your breast? I’m afraid I’m not a gentleman to have mentioned the matter. And I know I’m not a gentleman, in view of the fact that pregnant women do not embarrass me as they should. I find it possible to treat them as normal creatures and not look at the ground or the sky or anywhere else in the universe except their waist lines--and then cast at them those furtive glances I’ve always thought the height of indecency.
6) - [...] I’ve sent money to Mother, but Father has sent it back -- tainted money, you see!-- and several times I’ve gone to Charleston and given
money, on the sly, to my sister. But Father always found out and raised merry hell with her, till her life wasn’t worth living, poor girl. And back the money came to me. I don’t know how they’ve lived... Yes, I do know. My brother’s given what he could, though he hasn’t much to give and he won’t take anything from me either--speculator’s money is unlucky money, you see! And the charity of their friends. Your Aunt Eulalie, she’s been very kind. She’s one of Mother’s best friends, you know. She’s given them clothes and.. Good God! My mother on charity!
It was one of the few times she had ever seen him with his mask off, his face hard with honest hatred for his father and distress for his mother.
- Aunt ‘Lalie! But, good Heavens, Rhett, she hasn’t got anything much above what I send her!
- Ah, so that’s where it comes from! How ill bred of you, my dear, to brag of such a thing in the face of my humiliation. You must let me reimburse you!
- pietiks -
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