| 'stupid' vs. 'stubborn' |
[Jan. 19th, 2011|02:49 pm] |
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turpinu klausīties savu arhitektūras romānu [Ayn Rand 'The Fountainhead']. un dīvainā kārtā atklāju, ka tas mani tiešām iedvesmo in a really sick way, jo piem.
"Cameron and Roark and a pot of black coffee had lived in the office from dawn till frozen dawn for many days, and Cameron had thought involuntarily of the electric bill, but made himself forget it. The lights still burned in the drafting room in the early hours when he sent Roark out for sandwiches, and Roark found gray morning in the streets while it was still night in the office, in the windows facing a high brick wall. On the last day, it was Roark who had ordered Cameron home after midnight, because Cameron’s hands were jerking and his knees kept seeking the tall drafting stool for support, leaning against it with a slow, cautious, sickening precision. Roark had taken him down to a taxi and in the light of a street lamp Cameron had seen Roark’s face, drawn, the eyes kept wide artificially, the lips dry. The next morning Cameron had entered the drafting room, and found the coffee pot on the floor, on its side over a black puddle, and Roark’s hand in the puddle, palm up, fingers half closed, Roark’s body stretched out on the floor, his head thrown back, fast asleep. On the table, Cameron had found the plans, finished..."
liek man nevis skriet prom un slavēt dievu, ka esmu ārā no tā visa murga, bet tieši otrādi ātrāk rasēt dienām un naktīm.. un neēst.. un stresot.. [protamsm, ar nosacījumu, ka plans will be finished!] which actually brings me back to an sms-conversation i had few days ago par 'vienu raidījumu mtv, kur otrā līnijas pusē jāpāriet visiem, kurus kāds adult has called stupid or not good enough'. un a realization, ka vismaz 3 adults have called me that. :P
one of them was my primary school math teacher, jo es viņai mēģināju ieskaidrot, ka viņa mums nepareizi mācīja reizināšanu ar nulli [!!! un viņa tiešām mācīja to nepareizi!!!]. vsp tas ir diezgan loģiski, jo kurš gan skolotājs ticēs otrklasniekam? bet being called an idiot in front of the whole class was humiliating and traumatizing enough to make me a complete math-maniac for the rest of my life.
otrais pieaugušais bija mana trešā zīmēšanas/gleznošanas pulciņa pasniedzēja, kas bļāva, ka man nav nekāda talanta un es nemūžam neiemācīšos zīmēt. [vecāki mani no turienes kkā mistiski savāca pēc šīs epizodes, jo es raudāju for hours. was like 10 years old] un par spīti šim viņas izgājienam i turned out to draw pretty well.
uz mammas mūžīgajām sūdzībām par manām prāta spējām.. well - i'm still trying to be the best daughter possible :P
tad, protams, bija vēl kāda epizode ar mani un otrās grupas v.v. skolotāju, bet mums vnk nesakrita viedokļi par professionālo sportu. pš. so doesn't really count for my 'german skills'. enīvēj, galu galā prasās slēdziens, ka all people who called me 'stupid' actually did me a lot of good.. :) bet doma, ka bērnus varētu apsaukāt, lai no viņiem izaug labāki cilveki, laikam ir pedagoģiski absolūti aplama. jo lielākā daļa bērnu droši vien vnk noticēs un samierināsies. pš. sucks! i shouldn't forget that not all people choose to be [or can be?] willful, stubborn and strong personalities. |
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