([info]methodrone) wrote on April 29th, 2015 at 03:35 pm
it's too hard to begin, when i know it will end
man shkjiet, ka mani vajaa ceturtdienas, laiks paiet tik strauji, ka es katru nedeelju attopos ceturtdienaa, kas jau atkal ir gandriiz/ vai pienaakusi un pagaajusi. jo es katru ceturtdienu iznesu aara uz miskasti lielu melnu miskastes maisu. es piefikseeju to ka iet laiks manaa dizivee ar lielu melnu miskastes maisu, cool life.

veel es tagad saprotu, ka laika ir tika maz, ka nav laika katru doto momentu padariit perfektu. es vareetu nodziivot visu dziivi meegjinot visu padariit perfektu. taapeec es pieljauju ka var izbaudiit momentus, kas ir kind of sucky yet still ambient and cool. es to sapratu vakar guljot uz griidas dziivojamaa istabaa, kameer virtuvee kraasnii cepaas saldie kartupelji, man uz sejas spiideja saule un pa datoru skaneeja kaut kaada roxette.

varbuut viss, kas neshkjiet perfekts iisteniibaa ir perfekts, jo vienaarshi eksistee as an effect of a long chain reaction of events, and as a cause of all the future events.

es vienkaarshi gribu buut kaut kas iists un izoleets un savs, bet jo vairaak es dziivoju un domaaju par to kas ir pasaule un kas es esmu, es redzu, ka viss ir tikai atsevishkjas drumstalinjas, vai zupas burbuliishi, vai vienkaarshi mazi zvirbuliishu beerninji, kas sitas logos, vai tie mazie varzhu beerni, kas leekaa pa smilshaino celju vasaras saakumaa, pusi kuru nobrauc mashiinas. es gribu sevi piespiest, buut izoleetam centram, bet varbuut tas nav iespeejams, jo fizikas likumi neatljauj. un kameer es domaaju shiis domas, kas tas ir?
 
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