|
[Mar. 13th, 2009|11:46 am] |
The Top Signs You've Purchased the Wrong Robot Maid
- Vacuums the dog and feeds the rug, then uses the cat to dust the table. - "Get your own damn beer -- 'BattleBots' is on!" - After a full day with the vacuum, she's got a big smile on her face, but there's still dust everywhere. - Sprays Lysol in your eyes, then runs off with your microwave. - Thanks to its faulty parameters for "carpet," you're still finding it hard to walk. - Every time you say, "I could really go for a cold one," she coyly bats her photoreceptors and points to herself. - Uses sandpaper on your mother-in-law's spider veins. - Does nothing all day but swill motor oil and watch "The Jetsons." - Accidentally superseding Asimov's Fundamental Rules of Robotics with Martha Stewart's Rules of Good Housekeeping, it shoots you in the head before you can track mud into the house. - "Maidbot, scrub the toilet." "F**k you, osshol." - It just wants to use its gorgeous, cybernetic body to satisfy your every sexual desire over, and over, and over again. Dammit, robot maid, my floor isn't just going to mop *itself*, y'know! - You can't get her to do anything while "The Young and the Rustless" is on. - She can never remember whether she's supposed to clean the bathroom tile or exterminate all biological life-forms. - She looks like Julia Child and cooks like Pamela Anderson. - Yesterday: Told her to wax the cabinet. Today: Grim news out of Washington.
No TopFive.com |
|
|