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[Mar. 3rd, 2009|08:34 am] |
In the future, robot dealerships will probably give their models friendly sounding names. But I'm guessing they'll stay away from "Rusty." Larry Hollister
There's more than one way to skin a cat. And if you're sick enough to do such a thing, I'll bet coming up with those other ways should be a piece of cake. mystic7
While it may be true that there is more than one way to skin a cat, I've found that you really only need to be proficient at two methods -- three tops -- to cover most of your cat-skinning needs. Wiley
If by "skinning a cat" you mean kill it, and there's more than one way to skin a cat, and curiosity killed the cat, then there's a strong possibility that curiosity skinned the cat. G. Ichan Filler
The Top Rules of Cyber-Romance
- Ladies: Don't let him past your firewall until the third date. - A chat room occupant's desirability is inversely proportional to the coolness of his nom de chat. - Never tell him you love him until after he gives you his credit card number. - Your Date Desirability Quotient (DDQ) is inversely proportional to the number of cat pictures on your website. - Never :o on a first date. - Practice safe cybersex -- don't keep a chat log that your real-world S.O. might discover. - Never forget which gender you're pretending to be. - Save the scanned photos of your gonads for the *second* date, hotshot. - Faking your own death is an effective and fun way to end a relationship. - Remember: The uglier the man, the more money he makes as a computer programmer. - When pretending to be a hot 18-year-old girl, avoid reminiscing about Mickey Mantle and Johnny Unitas. - SEXXYTEEN@fbi.gov is probably not your best bet for a late-night motel rendezvous.
The Top Ironic Corporate Demises
- Ex-Lax -- Accounting irregularities. - Taco Bell -- Corporate offices destroyed by gas explosion. - Pfizer -- Over-expansion in their Viagra division. - Oracle -- Inability to predict market trends. - Penthouse -- They never thought this would happen to them, but one day... - Walt Disney -- Always a Mickey Mouse outfit, it was dwarfed by the competition. - Vaseline -- CEO caught greasing a politician's palms. - Chevrolet -- Profits sank... like a rock. - Wonderbra -- Projected earnings never met expectations. - McDonald's -- Some clown in Marketing was embezzling.
The Top Ways to Tell Your SO You're Late
- "A Ferrari says you need to compensate but a SUV with kiddie seats says you can perform." - Don't tell him. He'll figure it out in 6 months or so. - Leave a burning soiled diaper on his doorstep. - "Wendy's late-night drive-thru is now closed for expansion." - "You know those pregnancy-fetish porn pics on your computer that you think I don't know about? Well.." - "Good news for you, honey! My girlfriends are going to find out I was lying when I told them you were impotent." - "Honey, you know how you're always saying you wish your brother would settle down and have some kids?" - "You know how you've always hated other men seeing me in a bikini? Good news!" - "Do you think the pool boy's cute arse is genetic?" - "The Red River doesn't run through ol' Virginny anymore." - Throw up on him every morning. He'll get the hint. - "Would you like my tits to be bigger?"
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