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[Mar. 3rd, 2009|08:34 am] |
In the future, robot dealerships will probably give their models friendly sounding names. But I'm guessing they'll stay away from "Rusty."
Larry Hollister
There's more than one way to skin a cat. And if you're sick enough to do such a thing, I'll bet coming up with those other ways should be a piece of cake.
mystic7
While it may be true that there is more than one way to skin a cat, I've found that you really only need to be proficient at two methods -- three tops -- to cover most of your cat-skinning needs.
Wiley
If by "skinning a cat" you mean kill it, and there's more than one way to skin a cat, and curiosity killed the cat, then there's a strong possibility that curiosity skinned the cat.
G. Ichan Filler
The Top Rules of Cyber-Romance
- Ladies: Don't let him past your firewall until the third date.
- A chat room occupant's desirability is inversely proportional to the coolness of his nom de chat.
- Never tell him you love him until after he gives you his credit card number.
- Your Date Desirability Quotient (DDQ) is inversely proportional to the number of cat pictures on your website.
- Never :o on a first date.
- Practice safe cybersex -- don't keep a chat log that your real-world S.O. might discover.
- Never forget which gender you're pretending to be.
- Save the scanned photos of your gonads for the *second* date, hotshot.
- Faking your own death is an effective and fun way to end a relationship.
- Remember: The uglier the man, the more money he makes as a computer programmer.
- When pretending to be a hot 18-year-old girl, avoid reminiscing about Mickey Mantle and Johnny Unitas.
- SEXXYTEEN@fbi.gov is probably not your best bet for a late-night motel rendezvous.
The Top Ironic Corporate Demises
- Ex-Lax -- Accounting irregularities.
- Taco Bell -- Corporate offices destroyed by gas explosion.
- Pfizer -- Over-expansion in their Viagra division.
- Oracle -- Inability to predict market trends.
- Penthouse -- They never thought this would happen to them, but one day...
- Walt Disney -- Always a Mickey Mouse outfit, it was dwarfed by the competition.
- Vaseline -- CEO caught greasing a politician's palms.
- Chevrolet -- Profits sank... like a rock.
- Wonderbra -- Projected earnings never met expectations.
- McDonald's -- Some clown in Marketing was embezzling.
The Top Ways to Tell Your SO You're Late
- "A Ferrari says you need to compensate but a SUV with kiddie seats says you can perform."
- Don't tell him. He'll figure it out in 6 months or so.
- Leave a burning soiled diaper on his doorstep.
- "Wendy's late-night drive-thru is now closed for expansion."
- "You know those pregnancy-fetish porn pics on your computer that you think I don't know about? Well.."
- "Good news for you, honey! My girlfriends are going to find out I was lying when I told them you were impotent."
- "Honey, you know how you're always saying you wish your brother would settle down and have some kids?"
- "You know how you've always hated other men seeing me in a bikini? Good news!"
- "Do you think the pool boy's cute arse is genetic?"
- "The Red River doesn't run through ol' Virginny anymore."
- Throw up on him every morning. He'll get the hint.
- "Would you like my tits to be bigger?"
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