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[Apr. 5th, 2007|08:16 am] |
I've heard that the truth will set you free, but I'm a bigger fan of frightening the eyewitness into recanting her testimony.
Tom Sims
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The Top Poor Responses to the Question "Does This Make Me Look Fat?"
- "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
- "Does this tie make me look stupid?"
- "No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
- "I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"
- "No hablo ingles."
- "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."
- "No, but taking it *off* sure does."
- "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
- "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
- "Not if you were travelling at the speed of light."
- "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
- "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
- "Whoa! A talking couch!!"
- "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
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