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[Mar. 27th, 2007|10:52 am] |
The Top Differences Between the Internet and the Matrix
- Newer versions of the Internet are better than previous ones. - People in the Matrix dress much cooler than people on the Internet. - Thanks to the F5 key, "reloading" is a lot less complicated on the Internet. - Most people in the Matrix don't know about the real world, while most people who use the Internet...uh, never mind. - The Matrix: hot girls in leather talk to computer geeks. The Internet: hot girls in leather talk to computer geeks for $2.99 a minute. - The closest that the Internet has come to enslaving the human race is through World of Warcraft. - To access the Internet we have to deal with ISP tech support, while those lucky bastards in the Matrix just need to have a sharp probe jammed into their skulls. - In the Matrix, you take the blue pill to return to a world of blissful ignorance. On the Internet, you buy blue pills to get an erection.
The Top Signs Your Pet is a Reincarnated Lawyer
- Charges you for a full hour when looking over the papers you put down for him to do his business on. - From the annoyingly repetitive shrieks, apparently Polly wants an "OBJECTION!" - When he brings you your leather slippers, they don't fit! - When you confront her about the mess in the foyer, she acts out a fairly convincing case that the goldfish did it. - "Permission to treat the hydrant as hostile." - Your goldfish has three rows of teeth and a cartilaginous dorsal fin. - It's a cat.
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