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[Jan. 6th, 2010|04:18 pm] |
I tried making Grandpa's funeral fun by having him dressed in a clown suit. Nobody appreciated it, though. Was it his oversized shoes, his flower that squirted water at the mourners, or my constantly beeping that big, irresistible red nose that caused such a disturbance?
In order to send a more positive message, I think rock stars could, instead of smashing their guitars at the end of a concert, reconstruct guitars out of broken parts and play a song on them.
I was going to throw the used batteries from my robot dog into the trash. Then I realized that technically speaking, they were actually robot dog-poop. So instead, I just tossed them over my neighbor's fence.
The Top Differences If *Satan* Claus Came on Christmas
- Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" plays on every radio station around the globe, nonstop, from Halloween through Memorial Day. - "Now Genghis, now Gacy, now Pol Pot and Hitler! On Gotti, on Bundy, on Dahmer and Nixon!" ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top "Texting While ..." Activities We Need to Crack Down On
- Fetal birth canal progress Flickr updates. - Texting while IMing about your Twitter updates. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Strange Sources of Biofuel
- There are nearly unlimited supplies of biofuel components presumed to be available on the south pole of the moon in the craters hidden from sunlight and NASA probes. - Corduroy pants. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Differences in Famous Directors' Versions of Christmas Movies
- Michael Bay's "Transformers 3: Revenge of the Fawnen": Santa single-handedly saves Christmas (but blows the silicone tits off Los Angeles) from alien robots by converting Rudolph into a laser cannon and Donner and Blitzen into bazookas. - Ang Lee's "Flatbroke Mountain": Two unemployed elves, Ennis and Jack, fall in love and end up on the "naughty" list. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Ways Movies Would Differ Under an Obama/Biden Administration
- Jon Voight's character mysteriously written out of "National Treasure 3." - Only inexperienced directors can get work. ( ... tālāk ... ) |
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