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[Oct. 3rd, 2009|10:41 am] |
Интересно, велосипеды сверху на автомобилях возят с той же целью, что и шлюпки на кораблях ?
Отец читает сказку сыну на ночь:
- "Ехали медведи на велосипеде, а за ними кот - задом наперед, а за ним комарики на воздушном шарике... "
- Пап, скажи честно: ты чё куришь?
В аптеке:
- Девушка, дайте пожалуйста таблетки для похудения.
- Женщина, я 5 минут назад продала вам 10 пачек!
- Я не наелась...
- Ты куда, Иван-царевич?
- В чисто поле. Отец велел из лука стрельнуть, на чей двор стрела упадет - там и невесту брать...
- А гранату к стреле зачем прикрутил?
- Страсть как жениться неохота! . .
- Девушка, вы замужем?
- Нет.
- А почему?
- Да я и не знаю... И пробуют, и хвалят, а не берут!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Oct. 3rd, 2009|10:47 am] |
Tomorrow morning at sunrise I'll be hung. Or is it hanged? Great, now I'll be up all night.
Jerry L. Embry
At CIA Headquarters they used to have an original M.C. Escher staircase drawing hanging in one of the hallways, but they had to take it down because people thought it was a floor map.
The Covert Comic
I read a news story about a researcher who claims that dogs are "as smart as" a 2-year-old baby, which didn't sound right to me, so I decided to do my own research. *Not only* didn't the baby find his way home, he starved to death in the woods, too! Dogs - 1, babies - 0.
Doug Frank
The Top Wedding Toasts to Celebrities
- "May your pre-nup remain airtight."
- "May the children from your previous marriages not interfere in this one."( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Answers to "How Does Electricity Work?"
- " ...and when the electrons get more energy from the morons, they get hardons."
- "For starters, the electron's connected to the kneebone."( ... tālāk ... )
Two organizations for singles are co-sponsoring a three-night Carnival ship "cougar cruise," aimed at older woman who pursue younger men. When I was a kid, we didn't call them "cougars" -- they were known simply as "drunk moms."
The Top Signs You're on a Cougar Cruise
- Today's crafts session: how to use popsicle sticks and duct tape to make your boobs look 20 years younger.
- On the bow, a drunken Mary Kay LeTourneau screams, "I'm the king of the world!"( ... tālāk ... ) |
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