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[Apr. 17th, 2009|12:45 pm] |
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. He's also postmaster and probably traffic cop, too. All the jobs for sports referees are probably filled, though.
Lemel Hebert-Williams
My wife will do absolutely anything I want her to do for me. Of course, *she's* the one who decides what it is that I want her to do for me.
Bernie Spencer
Those commercials for Botox are misleading. They say "Botox is freedom of expression," but the fact is it's freedom FROM expression.
Donna Ayers
There was an article in today's newspaper about how to stop being a hoarder, so I saved it. Someday when I've saved up about a dozen articles on the subject, I'll read them to see which one offers the best advice.
Ian Dauphinee
( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Surprises in Secretary Gates' New Budget
- Looks like a blatant attempt to suck up to the new Commander-in-Chief with a C-5 version of Air Force One complete with basketball court.
- All DoD orders for screwdrivers, toilet seats, and hammers were canceled (and replaced by local purchase authorization at Home Depot), eliminating U.S. deficit.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs You're Seeing the Wrong Shrink
- When he does word association with you, he replies to every one of your answers by screaming, "WRONG!!"
- Ever since the day you confessed to feeling suicidal, she makes you pay in advance.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Apr. 17th, 2009|12:55 pm] |
Подзатыльник - самый распространенный в нашей стране способ передачи информации из поколения в поколение.
Школьник нашел миллион баксов и сдал их в милицию. Рыдающая мать утверждала,что гордится им.
- Папа очень торопился, рассказывая сыну сказку, поэтому зайка давился, но жрал колобка.
Продам партию хрусталя.
А. Друзь
Новая народная примета:
"Увидел на улице девушек в коротких юбках? - пора сменить резину!"
В секс-шопе:
- У вас резиновые мозги есть?
- ?!!!
- Да наш босс на пару недель отдыхать уезжает - так народ беспокоится, как он без нас там...
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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