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[Apr. 8th, 2009|08:05 am] |
Вся история России - это метание от анархии к монархии и обратно.
Внутри каждого старика живет молодой человек, который никак не может понять - а что, собственно, произошло.
По статистике ежегодно расходуется 58 рулонов туалетной бумаги на душу населения. Не правильнее было бы сказать на жопу населения?
Известный альпинист Петр Скалолазов в честь 8 марта посвятил покорение новой вершины своей жене. Как и всегда, она первой поздравила его с победой, взойдя на вершину на несколько часов раньше.
Комментарий в блоге, к посту с темой "куфаю шоколад":
Мастер_Буквоед: какое, б*ядь, "куфаю шоколад!" Я, б*ядь, доклад про Куфаева ищу, понимаешь, сука, про КУФАЕВА!!! Мужыг, б*ядь, такой раньше жил!!! А мне, б*ядь, Яндекс по запросу "Куфаев", ссылки только на ваше гребанное "куфаю шоколад" выдает! Б*ядь, суки, писать грамотно научитесь!!! Ненавижу вас всех!!!!!
Смешная история? Какой тут смех?! Звоню в дверь другу... Слышу в ответ: "Открыто". Но голос какой-то печальный. Открываю дверь. В своей
однокомнатной кваритре, в дальнем углу, сидит Толян.
В руках у него кисточка. Около ног банка с краской. "Понимашь," грустно говорит он, "опыта никакого. Решил покрасить пол. Но начал почему-то от двери. Вот и закрасил себя в угол. А на банке написано, что сохнет в течении 24 часов. Ещё 18 осталось, но жрать сильно охота. И в туалет..." |
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[Apr. 8th, 2009|08:22 am] |
Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship, regardless of what my dumbass wife says.
Mike Culp
As I sat there in the darkened room, I felt the oily slime trickling down my throat like the bony fingers of Death's hand, reaching down to claim his prize. I should know better than to ask for extra butter on my popcorn.
Jeff Threatt
If an infinite number of monkeys typed on an infinite number of typewriters, they would eventually bang out the entire works of Shakespeare -- but I bet most people would be more impressed that the noise finally stopped.
Keith Sullivan
The Top Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big
- When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have the package of extra small condoms bagged and ready to go.
- Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down to the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains confident that Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top 7 Surprises at the Microsoft Store
- A discrete area in the back featuring male-enhancement products for people who misinterpreted "Microsoft."
- Free daily demonstrations of the proper key combinations/mouth positions/small animal sacrifices needed to make Vista perform flawlessly.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Apr. 8th, 2009|02:21 pm] |
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Piddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Piddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could,
"I'm afraid Piddles is dead, Lucy."
"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.
At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Piddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Piddles up to heaven."
Little Lucy seemed to take her Piddles' death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work, Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning."
Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"
"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!' and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she definitely would have gone, Daddy." |
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