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[Jan. 9th, 2009|10:15 am] |
Вовочка спрашивает у Машеньки:
- А как правильно - "пОстинор" или "пАстинор"?
Машенька (сурово):
- Правильно будет "ПРЕЗЕРВАТИВ"!!!
В переполненном автобусе. Девушка:
- Мужчина, что вы об меня третесь, вы что, меня хотите?
- Нет, что вы!
- Ну тогда отойдите, может другие хотят!
Разговаривают две подруги:
- Представляешь, в доме масса сломанных вещей, решила обратиться в фирму "муж на час". Нашла самый дешевый вариант.
- Ну и как, тебе все починили?
- Какое там! Пришел мужчина, сел на диван и два часа пил пиво и смотрел футбол по телевизору!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jan. 9th, 2009|10:58 am] |
I got fired from my gig as an elevator doorman because I was pissed off all the time. I guess that's because the idiots in my building know how to push my buttons.
Wayne Lloyd
Michael Phelps' amazing performance winning at the Beijing Olympics has inspired me to try and get in shape and be more like him. I'm starting off by increasing my food intake to 10,000 calories per day. Eventually, I'm hoping to learn to swim, but hey, one thing at a time.
Wiley
I have a very high tolerance to alcohol. The problem is that I always get drunk long before I reach it.
Naomi Rose
I like to think of myself as a pioneer, a selfless leader who leads by example, even against the backdrop of enormous difficulties posed by my contemporaries. Specifically, the parents in my neighborhood telling their children, "Do *not* follow that crazy old man's example!"
Maurizio Mariotti
The Top Health & Beauty Resolutions for 2009
- Increase lying about distance jogged from three miles a day to five miles a day.
- Let your nails grow long by not biting them while following the stock market.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Scandals We Predict for 2009
- Actors go on strike, but will have stand-ins picket when the weather is bad.
- Jennifer Aniston hires a big game hunter to take out Angelina Jolie while she's shopping for more kids in Africa.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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