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[Oct. 23rd, 2008|07:40 am] |
Бывает в жизни так паршиво,
Что даже чай не лезет в глотку,
А лезет в глотку только пиво,
Которым запиваешь водку.
В красивом и умном ребенке узнать себя гораздо легче.
Вчера прошли соревнования по метанию молота. Больше всего метались зрители в шестом ряду, куда, по ошибке, залетел молот.
- Девушка, вы хотите сняться в рекламе зубной пасты?
- Да конечно!!!
- Отлично! У нас как раз бобер заболел!
Поймал мужик золотую рыбку. А она и говорит:
- Отпусти меня в море, я выполню одно твое желанье.
- А почему не три?
- Молодая я еще, неопытная...
- Ну ладно. Хочу мир во всем мире!
- А может, не надо?
- Надо, рыбка, надо.
"Ну, хорошо", - сказала рыбка, хвостиком вильнула, все атомные бомбы взорвались, и наступил мир как во всем мире, так и на каждом астероиде
в отдельности. |
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[Oct. 23rd, 2008|07:43 am] |
Word to the wise: Majoring in psychology does not mean you will eventually be employed as a psycho, so don't get your hopes up.
James Knowles
I've made provisions in my will to be buried with a roll of breath mints. I figure if I should somehow become part of a zombie army roaming the earth, I may want something minty fresh to take the taste of brains out of my mouth.
Brad Wilkerson
The Top New Job Openings on Wall Street
- Media Doomsday Prognostication Consultant
- VP of Morale (2,400 current openings)
- Lexus Repo Coordinator
- Career Change Counselor
- Wal-Mart Opening Bell Ringer
- Omelet Chef (Nest Egg division)
- Bailout money collection agent
- Negative amortization engineer
- Lehman's Step-Brothers
No TopFive.com |
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[Oct. 23rd, 2008|03:26 pm] |
Air Force Cyber Command (AFCYBER) was announced in 2006 as a new Major Command, became provisional and was postponed in 2007, and was aborted just a couple of weeks ago in 2008. Instead, the cyber mission is being transferred to a Numbered Air Force (a lower level command). It was all a bit of a mystery why this happened. Until now ...
The Top Reasons Air Force Cyber Command Was Aborted
- A double-pronged military maneuver with split-second cyber timing is hard to execute after that bad coffee spill on your keyboard.
- Aerial precision delivery by Amazon.com was a step too far.
- Everyone's copy of Missile Command kept crashing.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs Your Yoga Instructor Is High
- Insists that class not begin until 4:20.
- "Today we learn 'Pose of the Unrolled Zig Zag' class."
- Seems to lose his balance a lot more. While standing. On both feet.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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