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[Aug. 14th, 2008|08:14 am] |
Счастье - это когда о тебе говорят только хорошо, а ты еще жив.
Молодежь все меньше спрашивает: "Почему?" И все больше "почем?"
Плакала береза, хохотал крыжовник,
Подрались за вишню тополь и шиповник.
Матюкалась клюква, пела песни слива,
Вот такая штука - димедрол и пиво!!!
Сын говорит отцу:
- А нам вчера в школе рассказывали про экологически чистые методы борьбы с паразитами!
- Это тапками что ли?
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Aug. 14th, 2008|09:44 am] |
Like my mom always used to say, "When the going gets tough, fake a migraine and guilt the old man into doing all the work." She was a very wise woman -- lazy, but wise.
Todd Loushine
The Top Restaurant Good Signs/Bad Signs
Good sign: The restaurant says they serve children.
Bad sign: They mean that literally.
Good sign: You see your waitress washing her hands after using the bathroom.
Bad sign: You are in the men's room.
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Aug. 14th, 2008|02:01 pm] |
The Top Signs Your Tattoo Artist Is Mad at You
- When you asked for a "Bad Ass" tattoo this isn't what you meant.
- Says that increasing gas costs will make your Corvette tattoo more expensive.
- You're sure that your partner's name was "Brad," not "Brat".( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs Hospital Security Is Taking Its Job Too Seriously
- Explosives-sniffing dogs are keeping patients away from their nitroglycerin pills.
- Security now requires a urine sample before allowing you into the restroom.
- Stool samples are kept under lock and key.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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