| |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|07:54 am] |
Коммунизм придет на смену социализму тогда, когда на столбах вместо лампочек Ильича будут болтаться менеджеры по продажам.
- Чем вы кормите своего мужа?
- Да что сами едим, то и ему даём.
- Девушка, я вам нравлюсь?
- Нет!
- А вот тот?
- Господи, ну и рожа!
- Вот видите. Так что давайте по-хорошему.
- Деда, а расскажи, как ты во время войны два самолета сбил!
- Ну-у-у... Не совсем сбил.. Скажем так: недозаправил!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|08:16 am] |
Preparation H is normally applied to one's posterior to shrink hemorrhoids, but it has also become popular as a means of temporarily erasing facial wrinkles. I'm guessing the second usage was discovered during a management training class.
Paul Layman
Despite the fact that the condom I got with this Adult Happy Meal was lubricated with barbecue sauce, I thought she'd at least appreciate it being McRibbed for her pleasure.
Brad Simanek
I'm holding back from having my own children because I'm not sure I'd be a very good parent. Besides, have you any idea how much people at raves charge when you want them to watch kids?
Danny Gallagher
The Top Complaints of Fast Food Workers
- Being ignored in the androgynous mascot costume, while that clown Ronald gets all the girls with his size 17 feet.
- Sexual encounters after closing involving giant vats of catsup aren't nearly as exciting as you might think.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs You've Gotten Enough Rain
- "You wanted a houseboat? Well, now you got your F&%$IN' HOUSEBOAT, Slim!!"
- Al Gore's latest issue: Global squishing.( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|04:40 pm] |
The Top Lame Excuses for Not Going to the Gym
- I'm trapped in my recliner.
- I didn't want to increase my carbon footprint by driving to the gym.( ... tālāk ... )
The Top USAF Changes Under General Schwartz
- Air Force "bus driver" uniforms now more appropriate than ever.
- Changes in terminology include referring to heavy lift vehicles as "birds" and fighter jets as "bugs."( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|