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[Apr. 17th, 2008|07:50 am] |
Та пустота, которая образуется после обрушения очередной иллюзии, и называется свободой.
Если когда-нибудь в мире наступит всеобщий дефолт - люди станут спокойно жить со стандартными настройками.
Сёдня в трамвае один мужик отжог: «Ну что за выборы у нас были? В аптеке выбор гандонов и то больше.»
Пpиходит мужик к сексопатологу и говорит:
- Доктор знаете у меня серьезная сексуальная пpоблема возникла.
- Какая?
- Вчеpа откpываю кошелек, а там #уй!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|09:13 am] |
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
Voltaire
- Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
- She heard the drinks were on the house.
- What does a bulimic call two fingers?
- Dessert.
Santa was in coats but unfortunately business was very bad.
One day his partner Banta said to him, “What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They’re last year’s style and even though we’ve knocked them down to Rs 1000 each, we still can’t sell any.”
Santa replied, “Use your head, Banta. Price them at Rs 2000 and send 10 of our best clients five coats each. But here’s the plan. Put in an invoice for Rs 8000 for only four coats. If I know them, my clients will think we’ve made a mistake. They’ll jump at a bargain and pay the Rs 8000.”
“What a terrific idea,” said Banta. “I’ll send them out today.”
Two week’s later, Banta says to Santa, “What a stupid idea it was. Every one of those clients returned the parcel and the invoice, but only sent back four coats.” |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|09:29 am] |
Fun Facts About Taxes
Weird Tax Laws
* Drug Tax Stamps - In at least 23 states there is a tax on illegal drugs. When you buy an illegal drug, like marijuana or even moonshine, in Tennessee, you have 48 hours to report it to the Department of Revenue to pay your tax and get a stamp for the substance. No identification is needed, though there are a dozen cop cars sitting outside the office. (Just kidding about the cop cars, I have no idea)
* North Carolina has had a illegal drug tax stamp law in place for 15 years, only 79 people have purchased stamps since 1990 (most of those were stamp collectors, or complete and utter morons).( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|01:22 pm] |
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The Top 22 Geek Bumper Stickers
- My kid is on the Honor Roll at Starfleet Academy.
- These colors don't run. And neither can I.
- Tape on your glasses *is* the Prime Directive( ... tālāk ... )
Standing Orders exist to make decisions simpler for those in uniform. For example, in the Army, if it moves, salute it. If it doesn't move, move it. If you can't move it, paint it green. Now it's time to reveal a few more.
The Top Standing Orders
- Air Force: No coffee before a seven hour mission.
- Army: In combat, if any part of you or your gear is above ground level, you're too damn high.( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Apr. 17th, 2008|01:53 pm] |
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Slavenības blogo, krieviski, apakšā linki uz citiem līdzīgiem pukstiem :) |
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