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[Sep. 25th, 2010|08:23 pm] |
No @5tevenw twiterī:
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more vodka.
"To Do Is To Be" - Socrates, "To Be Is To Do" - Plato, "Do Be Do Be Do" - Sinatra, "Ya Ba Da Ba Do" - Flintstone
My father always told me, "Be bold! Don't be italic."
When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Getting old is like a haunted house. There are sounds and smells that can't be explained
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
I put the sex in dyslexia!!
When life gives you melons, you know you’re dyslexic.
I hate being bi-polar. It's awesome.
Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. |
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