No one will love me until I swear off Corel.So I'm switching to PrintMaster Gold for Macintosh. I hear that once Iuse a Macintosh I will be loved and admired and the ladies will feed megrapes and wine and bathe my feet in olive oil because of the mysticalaura of the macintosh. I'ts $29.95! I can afford that to kick start mynew career! Yes, I will be the Print Master! And I will send youSignMaster files! You're a sign guy - you MUST have SignMaster! I willhave over TEN FONTS to choose from! and a lot of clipart on floppydisk! It's SO EASY!
Il will be able to work from home and with just a click of the mouse Iwill be able to charge thousands of dollars for making logos right fromthe many bitmap logos supplied with SignMaster! I WILL BE THE ADONIS OFDESIGN! MY EMAIL TOLD ME SO! And after my first logo I will be buyingQuark! I saw it in a pawn shop on Hastings! I hear it's what EVERYBODYwho's ANYBODY uses! I can't believe it's still there and nobody snappedit up! I will be the QuarkMaster! A Quarkaholic, The King of Quark, TheQuarkinator and then I will send you signs in Quark and call you a Mr.McNastyPants because you can't use my Quark files even though EVERYBODYwho's ANYBODY knows that EVERYBODY uses Quark!
THEN! After my first logo, I might have enough left over to buyPhotoshop! Or I might have to do a second logo to pay off my studentloan and my car and maybe a few alimony payments - but I might stillhave enough left over for Photoshop! And boyo boy imagine what I coulddo to you with THAT program! I'll be able to make Buttons! I will putbuttons on everything. Posters, business cards, LOGOS! I will be the 3DButtonMASTER! A buttonoholic, the King of Buttons, the Buttonator!

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