runāja zaralustra un reizēm klusēja - in the whole, whole universe

I can't believe just how stupid I was back in 2010. And I can not fully comprehend how one can advance in his knowledge, sense of reality so rapidly. It's like I'm in space with all the knowledge there is to know. At times. At times it really feels that grandeur. At other times I realise that the spectacular thought construct buzzing through my mind is just a grain of dust in the context of all that matters. What matters? Mostly that which matters to ourselves. And rarely something matters to us all at the same time and with that touch of, I'd say cosmic but we rarely even fully realise the earthliness of our lives, significance. But when it does, it's either beautiful or trouble. Or beautiful trouble. And at times it's so fucked up that I simply want to lay in my bed and fall asleep. Then nothing matters at all. In the whole universe.