| #daily movie review |
[May. 4th, 2016|11:23 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | alt-j - left hand free | ] |
"name one hero who was happy."
i considered.
"you can't."
"i can't."
"i know."
stark is running around with his pstd and white billionaire guilt, recruiting, literally, little kids into his army, and fucking up things along the way. the premise of iron man's character - he's an asshole. the other cray asshole, the one with, literally, big "a" on his forehead, is running around trying to keep his best friend psychotic assasin slash suicide mission soldier from getting arrested. the premise of captain america's character - he's dumb. an also gross, hitting on his dead girlfriend's niece (like, ewww). meanwhile, the pink talking siri is trying to get it on with the eastern european witch, which he does by transforming into household chores robot (where can i get one of those i wonder).
ah, what can i say. everyone in this movie is really, really fucked up, but in a really boring way (a.k.a. he killed my parents so i'm gonna kill him, omg, personal revenge, how original). black panther kicks some ass in a really cool car chase scene. some smashing-your-action-figures-together fun goes down in a rather drawn out airport scene. the rest of the movie is so boring i almost dozed off head first into my popcorn, parts of it a commercial of international traveling (vienna! london! berlin! winter soldiers can speak thirty languages!), parts of it, literally, un diplomacy talk (yaaaawn), the arch enemy captain zemo is bland as a corn waffle, ultron at least had a charming comedic streak (and grand ambitions to destroy the world) but oh well, germans just don't have any sense of humour, do they. instead he's sad about his dead wife, so he wants all the avengers to be sad as well. newsflash, asshole number three, they're all very damaged and miserable already .
the spiderman movie is set (i imagine some sort of harry potter on speed franchise thing, they've captured a twelve year old into a lifetime of contracts slavery), the black panther movie is set. marvel's machinery trudges on, in all its box office glory. i, on my part, celebrate the probably very last time i contribute financially to their empire. watching the trailer is more than enough, they put all the best bits into it, anyway. |
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