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Friday, July 6th, 2007
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10:08a
Am living each day as single day, because i can not think about future. Nowadays i should survive and i have one day challenge. I still feel pain about your leaving, but it is calm pain now - i can cooperate with that. I don't feel so obsessive need to cry as i felt before. In these days i am working hard, but even in work i remember you. I am not sorry about all, what we had...i am happy, that God sent me such gift as you and such feelings of love. Am happy just to remember that.
Some wise man have said: "Pain purifies soul" - it is happening with me now.
Yesterday i thought, that now i feel like if i will die today, i will not feel sorry about that, i will feel as my life have been fullfilled. And it is just because i knew you. Ok, let it be virtual for others or maybe even for you, but i am happy to remember.
I will never hate you and i am not hating you now, about, what you did - yes, it pains, but i have said you many times, that i want to see you free and you are free to decide, what to do with your life. Of course, now it have touched my life too..., but am ok, don't worry.
Each morning i wake up with memories and each evening i am listening "Kabhi, kabhi...". I think soon i will now words of that song and i will be able to sing it without looking in paper.
I feel calm and hopefull - God helps me to live. And last thing for today - i pray for you. Am asking God to take care for you and help with each challenge and especially in your new project. I don't want to say "Goodbye", because for me nothing is ended.
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