" Isn't it funny how when something is going just about alright, somebody always manages to spoil it? No offence, but Felix's sister Martha is the biggest killjoy I have ever come across in my life. I've just hit rock bottom, which is kind of ironic. I was talking to Mattie; a friend of Joey's, a really troubled guy, if you ask me- he said the whole of Felix's family must be cursed. They all manage to lead other people in despair, they all die the most painful death and most of them end up commiting suicide due to mainly inherited mental illnesses. The family members on the Velven side especially are as seductive as fuck, they take everything and anything they can get their hands on, they are devious and selfish. Or so Mattie says. Many wouldn't agree. For one simple reason, he's only ever met two Velven's- Felix and Marck. I, myself think, that Felix's family is the most supportive, loyal and caring a person could get, they don't take, they give, and they enjoy seeing other people happy, and they give love, because love is the greatest gift of all. I am not being biast, I am not starstruck. I am not like that at all, I let no guy mess with my mind, so why would I let Felix. Not that he messes with my mind. He messes with his own.
Anyway, as I was saying, Felix's older sister is a killjoy, some of you might know, Felix thought her dead until now. About a year ago, she sent Felix a letter in which she said she didn't want anything more to do with him, she didn't want to live and was going to kill herself. Felix, being Felix, respected that wish of not being contacted, and believing that she'd thrown herself out of a window on the ninth floor, begun mourning for her. Now, you see, she has sent him a Christmas card, supported by a- in my mind - very depressing letter on their childhood together. Felix has not commented on it propperly, only at length. For example she said, she wishes they could, for the one last time, make the shapes of angels in the snow and go iceskating on the frozen lake, near where they used to live. Felix smiled mockingly and muttered he had grown out of that. I agree, he is 18, not eight, and she is 26, and needs to stop living in the past. I do wonder what they were like as children, must have been pretty smart, most people don't learn half as much in their whole lives as they have in two decades.
At the moment it is still pretty early, if you really must know, it is five o'clock in the morning here, propperly earlier, where you live, depending on how far west you live from Moscow. I am bored helpless, there's not much to do, the internet connection is set to adjust at nine, so four more hours to go. Felix is asleep too, and even in his sleep he looks lost and scared, I bet there are some people who'd say it serves him right, but those would be the ones with a grudge against him and personally, I think, a bunch of low lives. I wonder how many of you, people, have seen Felix sleep like this. It can't get mor fragile and innocent. If I had a digital camera, I'd take a photo.
The next bit, strictly for the grown-ups, you should see the sight ( some you have, obviously, in once having dated him ) when you've made love to him for hours on end, and he's fallen asleep in your arms, and you feel ever so responsible and protective towards him, and he looks so helpless, you don't want him to move, you don't want him to leave, you just lie there as still as possible and sometimes he'll only be half asleep and he'll open one eye and snort at you to stop looking at him like that, you'll burst into fits of laughter and that moment will be gone. Most times, it can last al night, and you could draw his expression the following morning, so flawless, then sometimes he'd start to shiver, because he'd get cold after a while, with the window open and the covers on the floor and you won't be bothered to put anything over him, because it's that perfect.
Talking of which I haven't slept with him for about two weeks, thanks to the stupid medicine, you just don't have sex with someone who could switch off any minute and forget who you are. A sad fact. I have to go now, it's almost six o'clock, and I'm suddenly feeling tired as hell. Bye for now. Stefan. "

[ That was what I wrote this morning, otherwise it's going alright so far today, apart from Felix throwing up at lunch ]