I just love all my twenty-something colleagues. If they have a problem, they know the right way to amplify it, if they don't have a problem, they'll definitely do anything they can to create one. When that bit is done, play the martyr, pretend you are the only one working, make everyone think you are so overworked and mistreated. Poor little things. Oh, and the ambition. They can be dumb as bricks and not be able to perform the simplest of everyday tasks, but when an opportunity arises to climb the ladder, you better get out of the way. They'll have a list of their good traits and achievements a mile long. There is no need to back up your words with works or to prove your loyalty and commitment. The cherry on top is that the management eats it all up, they love this type of behavior, it is welcomed and celebrated.
Fake it till you make it, I guess.

Yesterday morning while walking to work I saw this little girl with her father (or so it looked). The dad was already carrying her backpack, but the little girl still had a huge stuffed animal and a bag in her hands. They looked so in sync walking together. I guess the girl was still struggling with all that she had to carry and the dad took the bag from her and they continued on hand in hand. You could just feel the trust and the ease between them.
I've always been loved and cared for and I've never really felt like my non existent relationship with my father bothered me, but in that moment I wished I did have a father figure in my life. Someone who really cared for me, someone who knew how old I was and what my interests were. Someone who without even asking offered to carry a little bit of my burden when I was struggling.

There are a lot of things that annoy me at the office because ... people, but this morning the two things that have already taken the cake are people fake laughing and constantly hearing Russian.
Those fake laughs remind me of a child trying to fake cry and in an international company where the official work language is English you might still expect to hear various language, thus the international part, but anywhere you go - Russian.

Took off two of the bird feeders today. The one on my window sill was mostly used by pigeons and they were getting raucous lately. It was different in the winter, back then it was frequented by sparrows and both blue and great tits, some starlings and later maybe up to four pigeons. Now there is a whole flock of pigeons. I like them, but it just seemed to get out of hand.
I also took down the bigger feeder from the lilac bush. They still have a regular, smaller size bird house/feeder for seeds and such and two feeders for fat balls. I have no idea what is up this spring, but they eat like they are preparing for the apocalypse. Maybe it's just the nesting season and I have not payed enough attention other years.
For the very first time this year I went out without a jacket and wearing sandals instead of sneakers. It was just to pick up my parcels, maybe a 10 min walk, but it felt great. The wind is crisp but not cold and the weather is just warm enough. As I don't handle hot weather very well, this is the perfect time for me.

Struggling. What else is new?
When I say that I hate people, the worst thing you can do is point out that not all people are bad. Am I generalizing when I say what I say, yes! Of course there are good people out there, somewhere, clearly hiding from me. For every decent person there is a shitload of assholes. Whenever I decide to let my guard down a bit and let someone in, 99,9% of the time they will prove that they are worthless pieces of shit. I am not talking about dating or finding a soul mate or any of that to be precise. I am talking generally of neighbors, colleagues, random people you meet on the street. And by letting in, I mean having a decent "life has put us in close proximity, why not try to be friendly and decent to each other" kind of thing. And again, I don't mean being friends, just finding a way to coexist and not hate each others guts. Why the hell is that so hard? Why do people have to be little bitches with no soul or common decency? It amazes me how fucked up communication between people has become.
One last bit. However strained my relationship with my family can be at times, if you ever come for them, be sure that I will rip your throat out.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Survival mode. Counting the minutes.