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August 15th, 2010
06:48 pm - Love
"The circle itself is an infinite thing. It is magical and never-ending, never changing and yet always adaptable, a ring with no beginning and no conclusion. Like the circle, true love itself is infinite. It goes on, knowing no boundaries or restrictions. It flourishes and blooms in the light and in the dark, laying down no ultimatums, making no demands at all. Love, in its infinite form, is something that cannot be forced. It cannot be taken away. It is a gift we give to ourselves, and an honor we give to others from the bottom of our hearts and souls."
I have no words of my own.
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June 12th, 2010
11:44 pm - Ayreon - Comatose
"No need to feel desire
(but I need you with me)
No need to feel so small
(but I need to feel secure)
No need to feel the fire
(but I need to feel free)
No need to feel at all
(but I need to know for sure)"
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June 9th, 2010
11:06 pm - Sketch
Your open window and a warm summer night breeze - this is what sets me free, this is what gets me high. The romance of the neon lights beneath us fills the air with an illusional scent. It doesn't bring back any memories, it gives me new ones. Finally.
Eva didn't fly away, she's going to see the dream to follow first. Long lost feelings are slowly coming back. It's difficult to remember who I am, but I think I am becoming who I am again, even though it's a completely different person, as far as I can tell. While hurting so many people, hope, that maybe there is improvement in this new person, still stands.
Your touch gently wakes me up from reality. The pain of your touch constantly reminds me this is only a dream. You seem to be a perfect balance, bittersweet. For how long can I keep the window open until the breeze is too cold against my skin, until it gets caught up in my hair and needs to be released?
I tell you Isobel called yesterday and you smile. She's your summer night breeze. The smile echoes in my mind, drills into it, leaving permanent damage. And then you say something meaningless. I turn away and leave it to you to close the window. My veil covers my face, but you can see through it, you know me too well. You know I can't fly anymore. The blood on my wedding dress doesn't scare you as much as the veil that covers something you already know exists.
[To be or not to be continued]
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May 21st, 2010
11:45 pm
These daleks were just hillarious. Not just of all the gayest colours ever, but also fat. And lame.
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10:38 pm - Longing For a Brand New Heart
Standing still in the moment we can feel time swirling around us like an unfriendly gust of wind that will take everything from you. A storm that devours reality. Yet it gives perspective. A distant view on what you've lost. You usually lose things; sometimes you gain things, but it's still always a net loss. Standing still between life and death you see it all as if it didn't happen to you. And when you finally wake up, you wish it hadn't happened to you. Yes, people, truth is awesome, but I'd often rather people lie to me. Just to make me happier. Just to give me hope.
When I came out of coma, they told me I'd die anyway. For someone who experienced clinical death twice in a single week, that's no big news. For someone who hasn't even lived yet, it's the worst news ever. It doesn't hurt to die, but it hurts like hell to know that you will. No heart for pretty Jane. Amusing as it is, all my life up until then every person I met was willing to give me their heart, because I'm so pretty, because I'm so damn beautiful. And now I'm going to die. "All this beauty going to waste" I imagined my mom's letter, if she even cared. "I'm so sorry, but I have to go have fun now" would be a letter from my friends. Mmm, I didn't have any friends, it's painfully obvious, but there's nothing wrong with being in denial once in a while and surrounding yourself with people who could never care less. Actually, there's everything wrong with this picture.
I'm 21 and my heart is broken. Do I deserve it? Well, does as 12-year-old in the next room deserve to die of cancer? Actually, all of us deserve what we get. Adam and Eva are symbols of that. It's really hard to believe though. It's really hard to believe anything when you feel something so precise and reliable throughout your life, giving up on you so suddenly. It is in some way like losing a god. People can't lose faith really, I don't think so. You believe once, you always believe. Yet we can have fights with our gods, reject them, while still knowing they're there and taking revenge on us. When the system fails you, a new system is developed same way you can turn to other deities; You can't develop a new life, sadly. There are just so many things you're allowed to have a second chance in; too few things.
The friendly doctor tells me and her voice trembles slightly. She's like a ballerina, when she's actually an angel of death. You know things are bad when even your doctor can't hold back tears anymore. That's scary, that's awful, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can wait and pray for someone to give me their heart. (This is what humanity comes to in the end - hoping for somebody to die so that you could live.) But the fact is I can't wait.
Standing still in the moment you wrap your thoughts around you in a protective shell and you almost get to live longer, because a moment can be your immortality.
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May 19th, 2010
04:41 pm
Love is like a sin my love
For the one that feels it the most
Look at her with her eyes like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you, again
/Massive attack/
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April 30th, 2010
11:21 pm - Siriously
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April 25th, 2010
06:33 pm - Black Label Society is just the best band ever
Ashes fly, ashes burn
Sun is black, ain't no return
Ashes fly, ashes burn
Over and over and only to learn
It's all dust on dust
(It's all dust on dust)
It's all you and me
(It's all you and me)
I've got to pity your pain
Just shovel some more dirt on the grave
The choices you make and the choices that are
Heaven so close and heaven so far
Ashes fly, ashes burn
Over and over and only to learn
/BLS/
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There's just something there...
Is it the ashes maybe?
Current Music: Dirt on the Grave
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April 17th, 2010
11:38 pm - Mood of the day:
"Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you"
The rest of the lyrics of that song - absolutely overdramatic. But the song itself is genious.
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April 2nd, 2010
08:25 pm
"I've never known completness like being here..."
Yet I've noticed recently that our version of "good" is "I haven't seen better". For some it's a statement of freat significance, while others haven't seen anything yet, so their "good" is everyone else's "i've seen worse". Inexperienced people might also not be able to tell apart "good" and "awseome" or "godlike". And when they finally have enough experience to judge and evaluate, it won't matter anymore.
A world of low standarts, really. It's like Einstein said - all is relative. All evaluation of the world around you depends on your own experience so far. It might at least explain why the opinions change, sometimes as often as every day.
Knowing all this, it's difficult to trust my own judgement. I know I like something just because I haven't seen better, so I automatically un-like it (the "un-like" comes from facebook, don't blame me, blame the society that created me). However, the pleasant thing is that there are, in fact, no limits for what is the best. But...we can never really know (ToK also says so!), what's good or what's bad. There can only be "good enough" or "too bad".
Notice how there're "oo" in both statements? That must mean something.
Remember from now on - only your opinion should matter to you. Well...in most cases. I sometimes get very angry, if your opinion seems too important to you, especially when it's all wrong (not the same as mine, that is).
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