Mental Asphyxia - Post a comment

June 7th, 2008

03:30 am - IB Smart, but IB Screwed.
When asked to comment on the IB a student replied: "I'd commit suicide but I don't have the time."

"The most disruptive member of society is the male member."

Chem HL Student: Got some delta-9-tetra hydrocannabinol?
Guy 1: (raises his eyebrows) wtf???
Other Chem HL guy: (closes his eyes)... Oh give him what you're smoking...
Guy 1: It's called hashish you idiot.

Mike: May I have another cookie?
Johana: Sure, here-
Ms. Lauter: Why are you giving him one? He's always making fun of you!
Johana: *Hands cookie* My cookies are golden!
Mike: They look more like white to me...
Johana: That's because I put alot of frosting!
Ms. Lauter: But you deserve it...you really do.

Blackmon: So see, its a theory that dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid.
*Writes "Dinosaurs killed an asteroid" on board*
Mike: DINOSAUR NAZIS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!

SL Maths Student: Are we ever going to use this in real life?
Teacher: Of course.
SL Maths Student: When?
Teacher: In the exam.

Iwan: Oh, I thought it was a typo
Teacher: I'm not typing on the board
Iwan: Oh, I meant a hando... oh...

Iwan (to math teacher) : How do you explain THIS?
Teacher: Your calculator's not on?

Maths Teacher: Your answers are like God, they have no beginning and no ending.

English Teacher: So if you bring valentines, bring one for everyone. I don't want one kid getting none and another getting 5.
Michael: But that's reality!
English Teacher: Be quiet Michael, I'm doing you a favor. You won't get any anyways.

Light is a wave on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and a particle on every other day! WTF?

Non IBer: Yeah, dude there was a lot of multiplying and dividing with her last night. If you know what I mean.
*IB student walk up*
IB Student: Oh, nice. So you and your girlfriend were working on your math homework last night.

Geography Teacher: Why is deforestation such a problem?
Student: Because people are cutting down trees
*laughing*
Teacher: Yes, because the word deforestation means to cut down trees. But why are people cutting down trees?
Student: Because they have nothing better to do.

IB Student 1: What's evolution?
IB Student 2: It's when we finish this exam and half of us drop dead so that only the people who are smart enough move on to the next mock.

Student 1: I read that there are lots of phallic symbols in the novel. Apparently Big Ben is supposed to be a big one.
Student 2: Probably represents Woolfe's view on British parliament at the time.

Student comes 20 minutes late to class: I'm sorry I'm late. I was waiting outside the classroom so as to not disturb the class.
Teacher: How nice...

Non-IB: "IBs don't socialise."
IB: "Sure we do, but it's just in the library..."

(After HL Math teacher arrived at class, late)
Student: Thank the Lord you're here, sir. We just couldn't function without you.

Physics Teacher: SO, if we cut the wire that holds up the elevator you would be in a weightless sutiation... But then it would crash... So you really wouldn't have much time to enjoy your weightlessness.

Student 1: I believe that opinions don't matter.
Student 2: So what you just said doesn't matter?

The only thing holding us down is our backpacks!

Student: Mr. Kent, my hand hurts from writing all these essays.
Mr. Kent: You think this is bad? By the end of senior year, when you get your diploma and shake my hand, you'll have a claw!

Student 1: Your mother is so fat that the only thing attractive about her is her gravity.
Student 2: Your mother is so fat, that she collapsed her own dimension
Student 1: Oh yeah, well your mother is so fat that she has the chance of reaching the speed of light
Student 2: Heh, well your mother is so fat that her Heisenberg uncertainty is zero.
Student 3: Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.

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