Mental Asphyxia - Post a comment

May 29th, 2016

05:39 pm - Nightmares and Ghosts P5
It feels amazing to do social things again. Not fully back in life, as I'm on a temporary weight plateau where I need to be careful not to accidentally relapse, but I allowed myself a bit of socialness yesterday. I can't describe just how much I missed my drunk acquaintances and being able to have the kind of deep metaphysical conversation you can only have with a drunk person at a party that's getting early. Warm summer nights definitely contribute to the feeling of aliveness. Smoking on the balcony, watching the sleepy neighbourhood - you know what I'm talking about. But most of all it's that feeling of being a part of something, of a wider community. Please don't make me leave again.

Meanwhile having bought all the nutrition boosters in town doesn't help deal with the slightly worrisome weight situation.
Also a friend's post on facebook reminded me of how some of the things I experience (or don't experience) are actually pretty weird, when you really think about it (the joke is that everything is pretty weird, when you think about it long enough). Like the inability to distinguish between the body's 'need' and 'lack' type of sensations, like hunger, thirst, tiredness, sleepiness, various types of pain and such. Just imagine not being sure, if your feet feeling numb means you're sleepy. Or not quite being able to put your finger on whether you're too hot or cold. Hunger and thirst are the most difficult ones. Sometimes I just get really irritable or emotional without any physical markers I could use to tell it's actually just my body asking for food. All these ways in which the human brain just malfunctions in processing complex data from its physical sensors. An advanced biological machine, so much praised, just derping out completely.

Oh well, there's worse things that can happen.
This post was basically just to avoid pestering my friends with more of my obsessing-over-myself nonsense. I will now go and write down three things that make me feel good, yes.

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