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May 13th, 2016
10:06 pm - Nightmares and Ghosts P3
First week as a recovering anoretic - so much over-achievement. Turns out you don't have to eat a billion thousand calories to make up for the deficit. As soon as you add anything over your base metabolic rate, the body goes into survival mode, and 'ohmygod all the kilograms'. Well, I'm definitely not dying anytime soon, so screw you, mental disorders. With great kilograms, comes great energy and other kinds of feeling like a human again. Elephant feet though, ick.
Otherwise - work is still a mess, report writing is still a massive challenge for the 'technically inclined', and I finally got some of that dreaded mainframe code to review. At least there's plenty of room for improvement, right?
I think I lost the knack for mental exploration of eating disorder issues. Or maybe I've just finally had enough. Don't know which is which, but there's more important things to keep busy with. The sunshine is out, everything is suddenly green, I'm no longer freezing to death, so there's plenty of excuses to just enjoy the moment. Aside from recent near-death experiences.
To conclude, I still find medical specialists somewhat redundant. I'm sure they might have their uses and applications, but oh dear are they not used to working with anoretics (for people who say they specialise in eating disorders, they sure seem to specialise in the over-eating type). Psychotherapists are a whole separate story altogether. As the Internet has said so many times "nothing shuts you up like asking you to -tell me a bit about yourself-". I think I could do without the extra frustration and annoyance, but then again, I also don't trust my sneaky clever self-destructive brain enough just yet.
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Sviesta Ciba |
