cukursēne
03 November 2022 @ 12:08 pm
it's (not) funny because it's true  
post-helovīna šausmu stāsts pieaugušajām: mēnešreižu pirmā diena, bet mājās nav nevienas ibumetīna tabletītes
 
 
cukursēne
21 October 2022 @ 06:48 pm
šis ir tik jauki  
lasu tumsā grāmatu, Mango piespiedies ar muguru manam sānam, un ik pa piecām minūtēm prātā nozib doma: šis ir tik jauki.
 
 
cukursēne
02 October 2022 @ 10:53 pm
 
My thoughts swirled and tangled and then became incredibly still. What do you say in a situation like this? What's the response? My mother always knew what to say - she knew how to be unflappable and poised and precise always. I shook my head, utterly at a loss. I felt like the quiet remnants of a house after a tornado tore it to shreds and left it behind. I had no pieces to connect, nothing that made sense, no way to impose order on the chaos. But I needed to say something. "Would you like something to eat?" I managed after a long moment.

//Kelly Barnhill, 2022, "When Women Were Dragons: A Novel"
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cukursēne
02 October 2022 @ 01:36 am
 
skatiet ātrāk to Rīgu vai vismaz Vidzemes lielās pilsētas, citādi man drīz būs nervu sabrukums no tā, cik daudz balsu ZZS, NA, Stabilitātei un Latvijā pirmajā vietā

6 AM UPD: ah, tātad zināms izmisums tomēr visticamāk gaidāms jebkurā gadījumā, lieliski
 
 
cukursēne
27 September 2022 @ 11:38 pm
so wholesome  
OMG, Netflix ir sevi attaisnojis kaut vai ar to, ka uzražoja Heartstopper un tagad - Heartbreak High. such wholesome queer representation. pizģec, cik labi, ka šie seriāli eksistē, cik lieliski, ka šī brīža jauniešiem un pusaudžiem tas ir pieejams, aaaAAAAaaaaaaAaAaAaAAAAAAA!!!!

spot on: "Heartbreak High [is] a very queer, very character-driven drama that understands teens are both very complex and also very simplistic in the ways they view conflict and drama. At every turn, they self-sabotage and make “bad” choices. But amid the mess, they also find ways to love and hold each other. So many hearts are broken in so many different ways over the course of the season. But the show is full of heart and healing, too."
 
 
cukursēne
25 September 2022 @ 10:30 pm
we're all small and stupid  
"but you... here, you're capable of anything, because you're so BAD at everything!"
 
 
cukursēne
23 September 2022 @ 01:15 pm
 
"Have you ever had a hunger that whetted itself on what you fed it, sharpened so keen and bright that it might split you open, break a new thing out?

Sometimes I think that's what I have instead of friends.

(..)

You ask about hunger.
You ask, in particular, about my hunger.
The short answer: no.
The longer answer: I don't think so?

We sate needs before they strike. In this body, an organ (a designed, implanted, rigorously tested organ) seated somewhere above my stomach registers the moment my metabolism requires fuel and stops the lizard-brained subsystems that would make me keen and irritable and blunt my thoughts - all those tricks Dame Evolution plays to make us hunters, killers, seekers, and finders and gorgers. I can disable the organ when I must, but it's so much more stable to receive a status report than to feel weak.

But the hunger you describe - that blade jutting from the skin, the weathering as of a hillside often struck by storm, the hollowness - it sounds beautiful and familiar. (..)

I wanted to be seen. That need dug into the heart of me. It felt good. I'm not certain how to compare this to something you would know, but, imagine a person melded to a Thing, an artificial god the size of mountains, built for making war in the far corners of the cosmos. Imagine that great weight of metal all around her, pressing her down, giving her strength, its hoses melding with her flesh. Imagine she shears the hoses off, steps out: frail, sapped, weak, free. (..) Is that hunger? I don't know.
"

//Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, 2019, "This Is How You Lose The Time War"
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cukursēne
05 September 2022 @ 10:24 pm
 
bet man visu dienu galvā griežas tas jautājums - "vai te ir siltais ūdens?".
 
 
cukursēne
08 August 2022 @ 08:09 pm
 
"krievija ir valsts, kas eksportē vardarbību"
 
 
cukursēne
05 August 2022 @ 11:35 pm
 
šonakt sapņoju, ka atrodu ceriņu laimīti, un nevaru izdomāt, ko ievēlēties, jo viss liekas tik bezjēdzīgi
 
 
cukursēne
03 August 2022 @ 10:56 am
 
"pilnīga norobežošanās no veseliem cilvēkiem"
 
 
cukursēne
02 August 2022 @ 09:05 am
 
great, esam dadzīvojušies tiktāl, ka es murgoju par karu un to, kā būtu tagad pēkšņi mēģināt evakuēties
 
 
cukursēne
21 July 2022 @ 01:14 am
 
There are the ghosts of who we used to be (..), and the exhaustion that comes with knowing that something will have to happen next, and then after that, and on and on until it's over.

// Nina LaCour, We Are Okay
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cukursēne
16 July 2022 @ 12:09 pm
 
I feel exhausted, a feeling of catching up, a feeling of something finding me. My heart is a thin thing, these days - shred of paper blown between the spaces in my ribs.

//Julia Armfield, Our Wives under the Sea
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cukursēne
12 July 2022 @ 09:52 am
 
šodien es gribētu vienkārši visu dienu gulēt zem segas, klausoties, kā lietus sitas logā, kamēr Mango guļ man uz kājām un ik pa brīdim pienāk nolaizīt seju
 
 
cukursēne
11 July 2022 @ 11:59 pm
content will reform until it breaks again  
tekstiņš tiem, kas video neredz

and I die and I die, discarding my skulls
crushed into powder and spun into bowls
made into mortar for plugging up holes
content to reform and to break again

everything spends out its day and then
its content will reform until it breaks again
 
 
cukursēne
11 July 2022 @ 11:49 pm
 
"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where –"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
 
 
cukursēne
02 July 2022 @ 11:28 pm
 
man nepatīk (šis) nogurums
 
 
cukursēne
27 June 2022 @ 06:58 pm
 
vai jums arī no šī karstuma sāp galva?
 
 
cukursēne
26 June 2022 @ 11:18 pm
par triviālo  
man riebjas Cido sulas jaunie korķīši