tiešām ļoti jocīga sajūta, vienlaikus kauns un lepnums par vienu un to pašu savu rīcību. tā laikam ir būšana cilvēkam.

šī geju romantiskā komēdija ar savām self-aware muļķībām bija pārsteidzoši lieliska izklaide, gandrīz izspļāvu zupu uz datora klaviatūras pie pirmās seksa ainas. tie mērķtiecīgie pārspīlējumi radīja sajūtu, ka es skatos filmu, ko kāds ir izdomājis stendapam, bet tad to tomēr uzņēmis. var jau būt, ka galvenais faktors tam, ka reāli izbaudīju šīs muļķības, bija ļoti, ļoti zemas gaidas (vienkārši gribēju paskatīties kaut ko vieglu, lai pārslēgtos prom no realitātes, kurā man nekādi nesanāk savākt suņa urīna paraugu, hah), bet tas tik un tā bija jauki.

"gender reveal orgy" laikam bija viens no maniem mīļākajiem garāmejošajiem jokiem, kam izdodas vienlaikus kariķēt gan stereotipisko, superseksualizēto "geju kultūru", gan heteronormatīvo bulšitu, un tādu sīkumu tur bija daudz. tiešām biju patīkami pārsteigta, cik izklaidējoši.

just bring her some flowers

pavisam nejauši noskatījos Lorijas Andersones Heart of a Dog.
iepriekš nebiju skatījusies neko no viņas filmām, tikai atsevišķus mūzikas video, un manā prātā viņa bija klasificēta kā mūziķe, bet tagad nevaru saprast, kādēļ tā

"let me tell you about anger. anger is free to use. (..) download the free anger app or just go to anger.fm"

man tik ļoti patīk sajūta, kad ziemā, novelkot cepuri, zem kuras es vienmēr matus savācu, tie brīvi izklājas pa muguru un ap seju

man patīk jaunā veida spams, kuru pēdējā laikā ik pa brīdim saņemu. nav vairs ierastie nigērijas prinču un francijas kundžu teksti, to vietā ir kaut kas, kas izklausās teju pēc abstraktas (iespējams, AI ģenerētas) dzejas. vēstuļu tekstā gan pa vidu ir arī random ciparu virtenes, bet tas netraucē izbaudīt tekstu :D

"white doubt blade
were not at moment that
true
the words for he
of very
a did
(..)
is which the mouth
tiny of a carrying tube
is your
may you
you it
Now know crooked
and how you
that
know before
soft bones grow
(..)
monodrama
Come us develop
more Lion into
and their subtlety

to Lion
let little my parts a"

man diezgan loti patīk šis, pēdējais, ko saņēmu, šķiet, šonakt:

"of clouds
like small cirrus
looking
hair or wool
are typhoons
earlier
a white type of tufts
signs
feathers fine
a of height
forty broad
twenty long
top in The about
yards fourteen and 2 8
(..)
its shape
on the another
first

There

muscle returns muscle
is to
of outside"

"Walls keep everyone out. Boundaries tell people where the door is."

tematiskās darba drupas

tās britu reklāmas reizēm ir vienkārši 😳

foster care

post-helovīna šausmu stāsts pieaugušajām: mēnešreižu pirmā diena, bet mājās nav nevienas ibumetīna tabletītes

lasu tumsā grāmatu, Mango piespiedies ar muguru manam sānam, un ik pa piecām minūtēm prātā nozib doma: šis ir tik jauki.

My thoughts swirled and tangled and then became incredibly still. What do you say in a situation like this? What's the response? My mother always knew what to say - she knew how to be unflappable and poised and precise always. I shook my head, utterly at a loss. I felt like the quiet remnants of a house after a tornado tore it to shreds and left it behind. I had no pieces to connect, nothing that made sense, no way to impose order on the chaos. But I needed to say something. "Would you like something to eat?" I managed after a long moment.

//Kelly Barnhill, 2022, "When Women Were Dragons: A Novel"

skatiet ātrāk to Rīgu vai vismaz Vidzemes lielās pilsētas, citādi man drīz būs nervu sabrukums no tā, cik daudz balsu ZZS, NA, Stabilitātei un Latvijā pirmajā vietā

6 AM UPD: ah, tātad zināms izmisums tomēr visticamāk gaidāms jebkurā gadījumā, lieliski

OMG, Netflix ir sevi attaisnojis kaut vai ar to, ka uzražoja Heartstopper un tagad - Heartbreak High. such wholesome queer representation. pizģec, cik labi, ka šie seriāli eksistē, cik lieliski, ka šī brīža jauniešiem un pusaudžiem tas ir pieejams, aaaAAAAaaaaaaAaAaAaAAAAAAA!!!!

spot on: "Heartbreak High [is] a very queer, very character-driven drama that understands teens are both very complex and also very simplistic in the ways they view conflict and drama. At every turn, they self-sabotage and make “bad” choices. But amid the mess, they also find ways to love and hold each other. So many hearts are broken in so many different ways over the course of the season. But the show is full of heart and healing, too."

"but you... here, you're capable of anything, because you're so BAD at everything!"

"Have you ever had a hunger that whetted itself on what you fed it, sharpened so keen and bright that it might split you open, break a new thing out?

Sometimes I think that's what I have instead of friends.

(..)

You ask about hunger.
You ask, in particular, about my hunger.
The short answer: no.
The longer answer: I don't think so?

We sate needs before they strike. In this body, an organ (a designed, implanted, rigorously tested organ) seated somewhere above my stomach registers the moment my metabolism requires fuel and stops the lizard-brained subsystems that would make me keen and irritable and blunt my thoughts - all those tricks Dame Evolution plays to make us hunters, killers, seekers, and finders and gorgers. I can disable the organ when I must, but it's so much more stable to receive a status report than to feel weak.

But the hunger you describe - that blade jutting from the skin, the weathering as of a hillside often struck by storm, the hollowness - it sounds beautiful and familiar. (..)

I wanted to be seen. That need dug into the heart of me. It felt good. I'm not certain how to compare this to something you would know, but, imagine a person melded to a Thing, an artificial god the size of mountains, built for making war in the far corners of the cosmos. Imagine that great weight of metal all around her, pressing her down, giving her strength, its hoses melding with her flesh. Imagine she shears the hoses off, steps out: frail, sapped, weak, free. (..) Is that hunger? I don't know."

//Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, 2019, "This Is How You Lose The Time War"

bet man visu dienu galvā griežas tas jautājums - "vai te ir siltais ūdens?".

"krievija ir valsts, kas eksportē vardarbību"

šonakt sapņoju, ka atrodu ceriņu laimīti, un nevaru izdomāt, ko ievēlēties, jo viss liekas tik bezjēdzīgi

"pilnīga norobežošanās no veseliem cilvēkiem"