cukursēne
24 July 2019 @ 11:43 am
and I realized it was not that remarkable for a person to understand what another person needed  
goddamn, right in the feels. kura no mums gan nav šo izdzīvojusi, vienā vai otrā veidā, vienā vai otrā intensitātē? (nu, labi, tā jau es ticu, ka cilvēki ir dažādi, sievietes arī, un noteikti kopumā ir pietiekami liela daļa, kam nav problēmu apzināties un pieņemt savas vajadzības kā normālas un arī prasīt to apmierināšanu. tāpat, ja nu kādam vajadzīgs diskleimeris - protams, ka ir arī vīrieši, kas ar šo mokās. bet dažādu brīnišķīgās patriarhālās sistēmas iemeslu dēļ arī šeit statistiski ir dzimtes specifika, tāpat kā ar emocionālo darbu, tāpat kā ar ķermeņa autonomiju u.c.)

"I hated that I needed more than this (..). There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com. (..) [W]hen a woman needs she is needy. She is meant to contain within her own self everything necessary to be happy. That I wanted someone to articulate that they loved me, that they saw me, was a personal failing and I tried to overcome it. (..)

I would not be a woman who needed these things, I decided.

I would need less. And less.

I got very good at this.
"